Actually, only the story line is scanty: Lar Park Lincoln plays Cindy, an American juvenile delinquent with a heart of gold who is sent on scholarship to a Swiss boarding school. There, she learns that she should strive to catch a husband, have a son and then attend to the important aspects of life, ''shopping, lunching and facelifts."
Cindy and others students, including Carole Davis, who's also appeared in ''Mannequin" and "The Flamingo Kid," flirt with guys from the neighboring boys' academy and shock each other with their naughty tales. Eva Gabor plays a Countess who owns the school, and Lu Leonard is the stereotypical German headmistress, Fraulein Stickenschmidt.
The fraulein, hoping to get poor little Cindy kicked out of the academy, stalks her, looking for infractions. But Cindy and her friends slip the Fraulein an aphrodesiac and videotape her in compromising positions with the school's male clerk.
So, the Countess fires the fraulein, Cindy graduates and everyone lives happily ever after. Yuck.
Not only is Fred Weintraub the producer of this turkey, he takes the blame for its genesis. "Based on an original idea by Fred Weintraub," the opening credits note. You'd think he'd have better sense than to admit to concocting this tripe.
After Weintraub got this "original" idea, he had his daughter, Sandra, write the screenplay. Fred Weintraub, who graduated from the Wharton School in the '50s, also produced "Rage" and "High Road to China."
"The Princess Academy" probably will disappear quickly from local theaters and resurface only if one of the young actresses becomes a star. Then, cinema hisorians will dredge up the film, and the actress will cringe.
Parental guide: Rated R. No nudity, lots of silly sex talk.
THE PRINCESS ACADEMY
A sex comedy starring Eva Gabor and Lar Park Lincoln