Hip Shots

Posted: June 18, 1991

Things I'd like to hear but won't:

FROM PETE ROSE

"Come here kid, I'll sign that for free."

"Damned right I'm excited; today I auction off my prison work shirt."

FROM NASA

"Everything's a go."

"On the way back, you guys want to swing over the Playboy Mansion and try out that new zoom lens."

FROM ANY RAP GROUP

"What do you say we try learning some instruments?"

"I finally got a chance to listen to some of those old Motown records last night, and we might be making some changes . . . you guys ever hear of the word harmony?"

"Let's try that verse again, I think our words were too understandable."

FROM PLAYBOY CENTERFOLDS

Miss July: "I want him."

Miss May: "Back off girls, he is mine."

Miss March: "Take me, I know all the state capitals and don't mind a messy apartment."

Miss November, "I give green stamps."

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