GREAT EXPECTORATIONS - EXPECTATION IS OF RESTRAINT
Beijing has issued a new guide for Chinese going overseas on private business, telling them to hold on to their proletarian outlook but not to squat, spit or pick their noses in public.
Among numerous warnings about the dangers of speaking too freely and the need to preserve national security, the guidelines set a strict behavior code that even the most well-mannered tourist might find oppressive.
"Don't point at people with your fingers. Don't make noise. Don't laugh loudly. Don't yell or call to people from a distance. When walking, keep your steps light. If you are in an emergency, you may quicken your pace, but do not run wildly.
"Female comrades should not sit with their legs apart.
"Don't squat when waiting for a bus or a person," the rules continue. ''Do not spit in public. If you must expectorate, spit in your own palm."
To which we add our own humble rule: If you must spit in your palm, please wash up before shaking hands with the locals.
RAISINS OLD ENOUGH TO VOTE ARE PART OF TRIBUTE TO MAO
Thirty-year-old raisins and sunflower seeds are among the gifts in the latest event marking the centenary of the birth of China's Great Helmsman - Mao Tse-tung.
The report in the official China Daily did not say what condition the raisins and seeds were in. It said only that they were a gift to Mao from an elderly Uygur man more than three decades ago.
The raisins and sunflower seeds are part of an exhibit of hundreds of gifts to Mao from China's 55 ethnic minority groups.
Wonder if those raisins were given to Mao in commemoration of his wrinkled look following his monumental swim in the Yangtze.
PARLIAMENTARY APPARITION MAY REPRESENT GHOST TOWN
It's been said that all politics are local. In Fiji, some believe they're also supernatural.
Guards at the island nation's Parliament House claim a ghost is roaming the
halls - and they've recorded the specter on videotape.
Parliamentary security guard Paula Cuanilawa said that early Wednesday he and two colleagues watched the kalou vu - ghost or ancestral spirit - for about five minutes on their security monitor.
"I have never felt so frightened," he told the Daily Post.
Cuanilawa said the figure was wearing traditional Fijian dress, including a sash of beaten bark.
The specter is said to have sent messages through a clairvoyant calling for Fijians to place more emphasis on traditional values.
Specter, eh? Don't we have one of those roaming our own national parliament?
