Noted Notary Makes His Bones Finally Performs Official Wedding Ceremony And Joins Ranks Of An Elite Calling That Dates Back To Christopher Columbus

Well, I finally got to perform a wedding ceremony. On July 9, in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., I officially tied the matrimonial knot for two consenting adults. It was a deeply moving ceremony, and the bride looked radiant in her temporary teeth. But I am getting ahead of my story.

You may recall that a while back I wrote a column stating that I was an official notary public in Florida, and I was eager to commit a wedding. That column generated quite a bit of mail, including some letters from irate notary publics who felt that I was making fun of notaryhood. For example, Samuel D. Michak, a notary from West Wyoming, Pa., wrote a letter in which he stated: ''Defaming the Notary Public Office is not humorous to me." Mr. Michak further stated: "A Notary was called upon when Columbus discovered America."

I frankly had not been aware of this. I bet it was a dramatic moment in Notary history when Columbus waded ashore in the New World:

Columbus: . . . and I therefore claim this land in the name of Ferdinand and Isabella of Spain.

Notary Public: OK, so your name is Fernando Isabel?

Columbus: No, I'm Columbus.

Notary Public (getting suspicious): I'm gonna have to see a photo ID.

Anyway, among the other letters generated by my notary column was one from Pat Callahan of Fort Lauderdale, asking if I'd perform a wedding for her and her fiance, Phil Taylor. Pat said she'd asked Phil how he felt about having me do the honors, and he'd said, quote, "OK." Phil is a man of few words. Here is Pat's account of how he proposed to her:

"One day he was telling me what needed to get done, and he said we needed to register the boat, get a fishing license and get a marriage license. So I said, 'Wait a minute, what was that again?' And he said, 'Register the boat, get a fishing license and get a marriage license.' So I said, 'Are you serious?' And he said, 'Yeah, we've got to register the boat.' "

Mr. Romance.