Remains Of A Bad Day For Butler

Posted: May 09, 1995

For some time, the folks who want the money have been charging that the butler did it. Bernard Lafferty, the trusted Irish butler of eccentric billionairess Doris Duke, has been accused of any number of horrid things,

from doing the old lady in to drinking too much to carrying on with young boys to spending much of her money.

Lafferty, who used to be maitre d' of the Bellevue Hotel's Hunt Room, was named executor of Duke's $1.5 billion fortune, and the will is being contested in court.

Now, a court-appointed investigator has found some dirt on Lafferty.

In a supplementary report filed yesterday, investigator Richard Kuh charges Lafferty with wasting huge wads of money and questions his fitness in managing her vast holdings. The original report alleged that Duke's death was hastened by large doses of morphine, given by her physician, in cahoots with Lafferty.

There was no comment from Lafferty, who has retained Elizabeth Taylor's publicist, Chen Sam.

A BIT; THEN, THE BAN

One last bit of emotional purging from Courtney Love, and then Kurt Cobain's widow will be banned from Tattle until further notice, because of overexposure. (Bet Madonna wishes she had an ex who offed himself!)

Courtney dutifully reports to Vanity Fair that she (1) keeps a piece of Cobain's pubic hair next to his ashes, (2) has tattooed onto her breastbone a cursive "K," more easily visible now that she has (3) had her breasts lifted, a certain asset for (4) her dabbling in homosexuality.

With a "I'm a Homemaker and Proud of It" bumper sticker on her Taurus wagon, Love likes to keep 'em guessing.

THIS WEEK IN BAD BOOKS

* If it could work for O.J., why not Joey, huh? Joey Buttafuoco's agents are shopping around a volume of fan mail, received during those few months Joey spent in the slammer for sleeping with the underage Amy Fisher. He got some 30,000 letters, if you can believe this. The book will have to be three volumes, because Joey will be responding.

* Joan Lunden has copped an alleged $750,000 for writing a diet book. Is the "Good Morning America" co-host an expert nutritionist? Dietitian? Kinesiologist?

No. Her only knowledge is strictly personal, gained by putting on lots of weight when her ex was suing her for alimony, then shed - over 50 pounds worth. The book will feature "many recipes that have helped Joan in lowering stress and reducing weight during hard times."

What? You thought it was just the free skim milk she was drinking?

BITE MY BRAINY NECK

When Dr. Francis Rigney of San Francisco sent for some information about Mensa, the organization for people with high intelligence, he got a list of special-interest groups within the club, like a Learning Annex for geniuses.

Here they are:

Course in Miracles, Alzheimer's Disease, Astrology, Bodybuilding, Cat Lovers, Chocoholics, Dave Barry Fan Club.

Feudal Japan, Hell's Mensans (for those who like to party), Good Drivers, Intelligent Quilters, Just Say Bros. (Smothers Brothers fans).

Nudist Lifestyles, OWSIG (overweight issues), Pragmasig (imaginative uses for common objects), Revenge, Rump Parliament (overweight acceptance), Sensuous, Snoring, Survivalist, Time Travel and Vampire.

SIGHTINGS

* A signed and laminated picture of Joe Montana, half-off at Bloomingdale's in New York last week, reduced from $130 to $65.

* Robert Shapiro, booed at the Lakers game when the in-house camera caught him on the big screen.

* Gary Busey, on his way home from Santa Monica Hospital, after spending the weekend there after an apparent drug overdose.

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