MOUNT HOLLY — The two young professionals came to the seven-story courthouse, their 10- year marriage nearly at an end, with their wide-eyed little girl in tow.
They were there for the most wrenching part of the separation: deciding where the 9-year-old would live.
But they didn't come to see a professional social worker or a person dressed in a black robe. They came to see Louis Carideo, a retired Delanco man who used to be personnel manager for an energy firm.
"I am not a judge," he tells the couple, with a warm smile that could coax the sap from a maple tree. "We're not here to be judgmental. What is in the best interests of the child? That's all I'm interested in."
Carideo is one of a dozen specially trained Burlington County volunteers who serve as mediators in child-custody and visitation disputes. It's one of only two such programs in New Jersey. The other is in Atlantic County, which has about 35 such volunteers.
Most New Jersey courts use paid social workers or trained staff to mediate custody disputes. Philadelphia Family Court uses teams of volunteers, but they are lawyers and therapists.
In Burlington and Atlantic Counties, the volunteers usually do not have such a professional background. That evokes concern among some professional mediators, who say the programs are just a way to cut costs. But state and local officials say the program is just as effective, for three reasons:
The volunteers undergo rigorous state-approved training. They handle just a few cases a month, and may not burn out as easily. Using a wide variety of volunteers also enables the court to serve a diverse population.
Thomas Farrell, the state judiciary's coordinator of dispute-resolution programs, says temperament is critical.
"A psychiatrist might make a horrible mediator, and there could be a grocery store owner that could be an excellent mediator," Farrell said.
The role of a mediator, paid or not, is to help parents work out a solution on their own, rather than have their lawyers duke it out before a judge unfamiliar with the family's needs.
As Superior Court Judge Jan M. Schlesinger told a group of Burlington County parents at a recent orientation session: "I hope I don't see you in the courtroom."
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Carideo has a gentle, grandfatherly air about him. He's a good listener. And today, there's a lot of listening to do.
