York and her husband, David, coined the tough love term in the late 1970s after her cocaine-addicted daughter robbed a drug dealer. Instead of bailing her out, the Yorks let their daughter remain in jail. They started a support group for distressed parents in the New Hope area; there were 30 participants.
Now the organization has 400 to 600 groups worldwide. Those numbers dipped in the late 1980s and early 1990s but are climbing again. There is no accurate count of how many families take part in the support groups, but there is a strong presence in most large cities and their suburbs, including Philadelphia and Delaware, Montgomery, Bucks and Chester Counties, York said.
In Delaware County, a Tough Love support group meets weekly in Ridley Park. Sitting in a circle Monday, the parents, who requested anonymity, accepted suggestions and played an active role in helping their counterparts with problems.
The group leader, a resident of West Chester, said he became involved in Tough Love three years ago after verbal abuse from his cocaine-addicted son became too much to bear.
"We finally asked our kid to leave, but we did help him leave by giving him the security deposit for a new apartment," the 55-year-old man said. "We do not advocate violence or throwing kids out in the street, but our key goal was to regain control of our home and our life."
One Prospect Park couple said their 16-year-old twins are violent toward each other and their parents. They often skip school, take the family car, and use profanity around their parents.
