The twins are Walker Steven Barbeau Van Zandt, weighing in at 5 pounds, 9 ounces, and William Dalton Barbeau Van Zandt, 5 pounds, 2 ounces.
The boys are the couple's first children together. Barbeau has a son from a previous marriage.
Mother, he did it
Albert Brooks's latest semi-autobiographical movie, ``Mother,'' is about a guy who moves in with his mom to figure out why he can't get along with women. It has a happy ending, and so, too, does Brooks's own story: The comedian got married Saturday to Kimberley Shlain, creative director of an L.A.-based production company.
The two met a year ago through mutual friends. ``We knew immediately when we met that we would be together,'' Shlain said. ``It works because we're both artists with a tremendous respect for each other.''
Oh, and he's 49 and she's 31 - but what else is new?
The wedding was held in San Francisco, and we suspect the toasts were probably pretty amusing. Brooks's brother, stunt guy Super Dave Osborne, Gary Shandling, Carrie Fisher and Penny Marshall were in the wedding party.
Celebrity real estate
* Dick Cavett lost his landmark Montauk, Long Island, home to a fire Tuesday. Repairmen working on the roof reportedly sparked a blaze that leveled the $3 million, Stanford White-designed frame house. The talk-show host and his wife, actress Carrie Nye, were in New York City at the time.
* This lesbian stuff is paying off for sitcom star Ellen DeGeneres: She's just slapped down $3 million for a house on three acres in Beverly Hills.
* An L.A. condo that belonged to the late Lana Turner is on the market for $379,000. Following Turner's tradition, real estate agents showing the property are reportedly asking prospective buyers to remove their shoes before stepping on the white wall-to-wall carpet.
* Actor Ken Wahl was sentenced to rehab and three years' probation this week for his knife-wielding scene in the Beverly Hills Plaza Hotel bar in December. The former ``Wiseguy'' star had shouted at the bartender, made some threatening noises and slashed the bar with a hunting knife. Wahl pleaded no contest to charges that he'd damaged the bar - he'll pay for repairs.
* A judge has instructed Dennis Hopper to pay fellow actor Rip Torn $475,000 for defaming Torn in 1992. Hopper had gone on the ``Tonight'' show and spun a little yarn about how Torn had lost a role in the 1969 movie ``Easy Rider'' because he'd waved a knife around. Not true.
Celebrities' good deed
Several celebs are participating in a benefit to be held in Montclair, N.J., tonight, for Matthew Gross, one of the guys shot in the recent Empire State Building attack.
The stars have donated some items to be auctioned off to help pay hospital bills for the 27-year-old musician, who doesn't have any medical insurance.
Among those participating: Whoopi Goldberg has given tickets to her Broadway show, Laura Leighton has donated autographed ``Melrose Place'' scripts and Olympia Dukakis has offered a year's supply of her Famous Fixin's Greek Salad Dressing.
* ``Independence Day'' star Will Smith will do another action-hero deal for his next movie, a film version of the '60's fantasy-western series ``Wild, Wild West.'' A possible co-star: George Clooney, yum yum.
* Jon Bon Jovi keeps pursuing that movie dream. The Jersey rock-star-turned-thespian gets his first starring role in Ed Burns's next movie, ``Long Time Nothing New.'' It's Burns' usual thing, only this time Burns, Bon Jovi, and Lauren Holly play the sides of the love triangle.