For Chris Farley, A Kiss-off Before Dying

Posted: February 11, 1998

"I may go to the pub and have a pint of bitter in traditional Yorkshire fashion and sit there stonily. We don't do much celebrating in Yorkshire." - Oscar nominee Simon Beaufoy, screenwriter of ``The Full Monty''

The prostitute/exotic dancer who helped feed Chris Farley his final mouthfuls of drugs and booze, then sold the tawdry story to a supermarket tabloid, would like us to know she's turned her life around. Good for her!

Chicago party girl Heidi Hauser, the last to see the comic alive, tells tonight's edition of ``Hard Copy'' that she's quit drugs and stripping and has left the big city to be with Ma and Pa.

``I just decided it'd be better for me to start over, since I had the chance,'' she told the syndicated show. ``You know, come back home to my family in Arkansas and just do what I wanted to do a long time ago. You know, just get a horse.''

Can't imagine Hauser would be a very responsible pet owner. She told ``Hard Copy'' she was ``sorry'' about the whole Farley affair: ``I wish that I would've called for help. I wish I would've known something, if he just would've given me a sign that something was wrong.''

Farley's crashing to the floor and remaining lifeless as Hauser waltzed out the door was apparently too subtle a hint.

De Niro in deep . . . ?

Robert De Niro's work on a Parisian film shoot was interrupted yesterday when he was taken in for questioning by the local authorities.

Oh? About what? About his relations with a call girl, who's involved in some kind of major French prostitution ring.

Gee, what would De Niro - who, you'll recall, married the lovely Grace Hightower less than a year ago - know about that kind of thing? Enough, apparently, for cops to spend nine hours grilling the star.

He was released without being charged.

De Niro has retained a big gun, French pol Georges Kiejman, as his attorney. Kiejman accused the investigating magistrate of provoking a ``media circus.''

Several Eurocelebs, including a French film director, Polish tennis player and Swedish former model are also being investigated in the case.

Testing, testing

Frank Sinatra was back in Los Angeles' Cedars-Sinai Medical Center yesterday. We're told not to worry: The reclusive 82-year-old, who visited the same hospital for a checkup last month, is in for some tests.

``It's a non-emergency. He's fine. He's here for tests,'' said hospital spokeswoman Charlie Lahaie. That's more reassuring than the standard response issued yesterday by Sinatra's spokeswoman, Susan Reynolds, who said he was ``undergoing testing'' and ``there will be no further comment.''

A word from Mummy

Frances Shand Kydd, mother of the late Princess Diana, yesterday attacked claims in the new book ``Death of a Princess'' that Di could have survived her Aug. 31 car crash. ``I have full knowledge of Diana's injuries,'' she told London's Daily Express. ``I know that, without any room for doubt, they were unsurvivable.'' Oh, dear.

Celebrity catfight

Feuding former sex symbols Zsa Zsa Gabor and Elke Sommer, who seem, in retirement, to have too much time on their hands, faced off again yesterday in a German courtroom. Zsa Zsa is steamed over Elke's alleged remark ``All German men are pigs'' - it doesn't reflect well on Zsa Zsa's eighth husband, Frederick von Anhalt.

Elke, who is German herself, insists she didn't say any such thing and is demanding a retraction. She already successfully sued Zsa Zsa in 1992, winning $3.3 million in damages after the Gabor-von Anhalts described Elke as a haggard Hollywood has-been.

The latest case will continue March 24.

Marlena update

More bad news for Marlena Ramallo Cooke, disinherited widow of Washington Redskins' owner Jack Kent Cooke. She's lost her $10,000-a-month allowance and been bounced out of the Cooke homestead, and the INS remains on her tail. Now, Mark Earley, Virginia's attorney general, has opined she's not entitled to the third of Cooke's $500-million-plus estate she wants.

Marlena is contesting Cooke's will, from which she was excised weeks before his death last spring. Earley is involved because Cooke's will directs a big piece of the estate to a charitable foundation. If she gets any, the foundation's share would be ``drastically'' depleted, he said. Trial is April 20.

comments powered by Disqus