Community Voices Families And Adoption, Part 1.

INTERMINABLE WAITING, THEN HEAVEN ON EARTH

Adoption is not for the faint of heart. There is that interminable waiting - for fertility tests, to be married long enough, to have enough money for the adoption, for the agency to do its thinking, for the baby to be born, for the time in foster care, for the parents to terminate their birthrights. There is the agonizing - over when enough is enough with fertility treatments, over what kind of adoption, over whether you have chosen the right agency, over when to pull up stakes and move to another agency.

Then there is the first moment you get to hold your new baby. Heaven on earth.

We have chosen to adopt interracially and rejoiced in our decision. Having African American children has expanded our horizons and introduced us to some of the world's oldest cultures.

Yes, there are challenges. My children have special needs and you have to be a mother in army boots to get them what they deserve. But the rewards are tremendous. No one in my birth family ever was a computer geek or a Pokemon addict or dressed in a different costume every night like my 11-year-old daughter. No one in my birth family ever had a 5-year-old son who collects microphones and climbs onto coffee tables to belt out gospel music.

Would I recommend adoption? You bet your life on it.

Maria A. Pugliese

Philadelphia

DISAPPOINTMENTS AND LIFE-ALTERING MOMENTS

It's difficult to prepare for the various stages of the adoption process. Since most people are already emotionally spent by the time they get to this point, you just take it one step at a time.

First is your home study: a barrage of paperwork and interviews with social workers. Next you decide which route to go: international, domestic, newborn, older child, special needs. Then you choose either an agency, lawyer or adoption facilitator. We first chose an agency and after one heartbreaking "disappointment" (the agency's term for a birth mother changing her mind before the baby is placed in your home), we went with a facilitator.