Sideshow | Appendectomy for Jimmy Kimmel

Posted: June 22, 2007

Late-night-TV frat boy Jimmy Kimmel, 39, will be out sick a few days from his job on ABC's Jimmy Kimmel Live after undergoing an emergency appendectomy Wednesday night in L.A. "The surgery was a success," his rep said yesterday.

In its report, the Associated Press saw fit to remind the world that Kimmel has somehow bewitched the strange, almost sublimely sexy, wicked funny comic Sarah Silverman to go steady with him.

This fills me with envy and resentment.

Trouble in LindsayVille?

Reports that a new tell-all book will spill Lindsay Lohan's private inner being continue apace. In the latest bit of tabloid sleaze, the would-be author, former LL bodyguard Lee T. Weaver, tells News of the World that LL once tried "to grope Mariah Carey's bottom and boobs." (Hm, thought she'd have better taste.) Weaver says he has salacious info about zillions of stars, including Eddie Murphy and Jamie Foxx. A Lindsay rep says Weaver, who claims he was the star's protector for two years, was with her for less than two weeks in '06. The rep calls Weaver's ploy "a cynical and ugly attempt . . . to cash in on Lindsay's fame."

The pilgrims' tale

Now that it's dead, legions of Sopranos devotees, left with nothing but dusty memories (and DVDs, On Demand and TiVo saves), have taken to the bleak streets of North Jersey where the show was filmed.

They come on a lustful pilgrimage to ravage the aura of the now-defunct HBO show. They gawk at people in Holsten's diner in Bloomfield, where Tony Soprano and family ate in the series finale, during which Tony communed with some deeply symbolic onion rings. The pilgrims can take home truckloads of onion rings as relics, if they wish - to wear on gold chains, to adorn nose, chin and eyebrow piercings, to use in bizarre rituals.

What if they never stop coming?

Pauly: A walking landslide

Horror icon Wes Craven (who, sadly enough, has lately exec-produced a series of real stinkos) filed a lawsuit against his neighbor Pauly Shore, claiming the Expert in the Obnoxious caused a stinky wet landslide in December that did serious damage to the Nightmare on Elm Street director's home and reduced its property value.

Filed Wednesday in L.A. Superior Court, the suit, which seeks unspecified damages, alleges negligence and nuisance. It claims Shore caused the landslide when he had big upgrades done to his home by adding a pool, spa and new landscaping. (Wet mud-creating stuff. . . .) Shore's reps have yet to comment.

Pacino, De Niro & 50 Cent!

50 Cent, who managed to crawl up and out of drug-dealing on the mean streets to become a gazillion-selling, mildly thuggish hip-hop deity and fledgling actor, has been offered the role of a lifetime: The New York Daily News says Fiddy, who was electric in Get Rich or Die Tryin', has been signed to costar in Righteous Kill. He will play opposite not one, but two method-acting giants: Al Pacino and Robert De Niro. He's excited, probably, but didn't elaborate.

More Clarkson darkness

American Idol champ Kelly Clarkson confesses to CosmoGirl that she had bulimia for six months in high school. "One of my guy friends caught on to it," Kelly said about how she faced the disease so early on. "And I just felt so ashamed and embarrassed. I literally went cold turkey."

Sure, she's got body-image issues, Kelly says, but she deals.

"I've got a butt, I'm Greek - I can't help that," she says. "I think it's good for people to see normal."

Live long and prosper. Not!

The New York Post says William Shatner is spitting mad that Leonard "Mr. Spock" Nimoy will have a cameo in J.J. Abrams' first Trek flick, Star Trek XI, while he, Shatner - Capt. Kirk himself - has been snubbed, even though an anon "insider" says Shatner has been lobbying like mad for a role. Kirk's rep had a no comment.

Quote du jour

"If my kids were to tell me that they wanted to get into acting, I'd hang myself," Elizabeth Téa Pantaleoni (a.k.a. Téa Leoni) vows to Entertainment Weekly. Téa, who is fantastic in the flick You Kill Me, has two kids with David Duchovny: 8-year-old Madelaine West and Kyd Miller, who turned 5 last Friday.

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This column contains information from Web sites and Inquirer wire services.

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