Is this ringing any bells?
The clincher came this spring when Marge's sister, Selma Bouvier, who works for the town's Department of Motor Vehicles, was told of a looming crisis: "The new traffic cones are held up in Harrisburg."
Did we mention that Pennsylvania has nine towns called Springfield, three of them nearby? And that the one in Delaware County has a joint called Moe's? Moe's Grille, motto: "When there's no place else to go!"
One of the investors is a genuine Simpson - Bob Simpson. Moe's even has Duf's Beer on tap, as close as you'll get to tasting a "real" Duff.
"We're both Simpsons fans, my partner and I," said co-owner Chris Hagner.
Somehow this overwhelming evidence wasn't good enough for Fox.
The entertainment giant is searching for the Springfield with the most "Simpson spirit," and plans to award the winner the premiere of The Simpsons Movie, due in theaters July 27.
Unfortunately, there's no need for local Springfieldians to rush out and rent tuxedos, because none of the 14 contenders is ours. Not the one in Montgomery or Bucks or Delaware County, or in Bradford, Erie, Fayette, Huntingdon, Mercer or York.
D'oh!
It turns out the Springfields in places like Massachusetts and Ohio outfoxed us: They asked to be considered.
Donald Berger Jr., township manager of Springfield, Montgomery County, said the idea of entering the contest never came up.
But, surely, hundreds of outraged constituents have phoned to complain.
"No."
A few?
"No."
Maybe one?
"No," Berger said. Besides, he noted, his leafy suburb lacks the requisite dump.
Springfield, Vt., is touting its Simpsonian similarities, which include a bowling alley, a prison, and a nuclear plant. In Springfield, Ill., people swear the guy who runs their plant looks like Mr. Burns.
These burgs understand the value of a movie premiere, both in dollars - visitors stay at hotels, eat in restaurants, rent cars, hold parties - and in publicity.
