I'm sorry if the T-shirt offends you, John. But "I'm Not the World's Biggest Loser . . . I Only Own Them" takes The Phillies Limited Partnership off the hook, if not off the griddle. In case you missed it, Claire, your investment has lost 9,999 games and shortly will become the first team in the history of any sport to lose 10,000 times. No, Claire, Dave Montgomery will not throw a party for the partners. Dave Montgomery is too busy trying to get the Phillies into the NBA, so they can make the postseason every year. That's a joke, Al, a sick one.
First, thanks for coming. You all go back to the original partnership put together by Bill Giles in 1981 in one way or another, and in 26 years, it's the first time I've ever seen you all in one place - or, for some of you, any place. You folks have made yourselves so invisible, a lot of fans think you're some kind of Siegfried & Roy trick. Claire, I saw you and your doggie in Clearwater a few times when the owners were down there being wined and dined. My restaurant buddy, Luigi Gallace, told me you all dined at Villa Gallace with Monty a couple of Marches ago. He said you loved the veal parm.
And I actually sat at the same table in the media lunch room at Jack Russell Stadium one spring with one of you Bucks; can't remember which. Mr. Middleton, I couldn't pick you out of a police lineup. You've aged a little since your Amherst senior picture.
Let me congratulate you all on the new valuation in Forbes magazine. The Phillies' sale price in 1981 was $30 million. Forbes just bumped the ballclub value to $457 million. You Bucks are venture capital investors. Ever imagine in your wildest dreams an investment that would return you 1,400 percent? Harry Truman used to have a sign on his desk that said, "The Buck Stops Here.'' You guys should have one that says, "The Bucks Start Here.''
