In table tennis, new meaning to sudden death

James Hong, who has gamely parodied his countrymen in Seinfeld and Airplane!, plays the Chinatown restaurateur and Ping-Pong guru Wong. He offers kernels of wisdom to his paunchy protege - and runs him through a rigorous training program that includes locking Daytona in a freezer with a swarm of bees and a fly swatter. A lithe Maggie Q is Randy's improbable love interest - she plays Maggie, Master Wong's niece, and Master Wong's number one student. Her backhand is to die for.

And George Lopez is onboard as the FBI guy who gets Daytona to go undercover, and then tags along on his adventures in Feng's palatial Central American digs.

Co-writers Garant and Lennon are the perps behind Reno 911!, and while Balls of Fury is slightly more sophisticated in its comic strategies, "slightly" remains the operative word. (Lennon also co-stars as Randy Daytona's long-ago Olympics nemesis, East German Karl Wolfschtagg.) Garant directs, deploying furious Ping-Pong volleys and spurious pastiches of the underdog genre.

Even at just 90 minutes, Balls of Fury - with its caricatures of the Asian underworld, with its G-man malarkey and gay jokes (Feng keeps an all-boy bevy of sex slaves) - begins to outstay its welcome.

But when the tournament that brings together the world's best Ping-Pong players begins, it's hard not to laugh as Daytona realizes the fate awaiting the loser in each round.

"You killed him!" he yelps to Walken's Feng, as another Ping-Ponger bites the dust.

"What part of 'sudden death' didn't you understand?" comes the actor's dry riposte.

Balls of Fury **1/2 (out of four stars)

Directed by Ben Garant. With Dan Fogler, Christopher Walken, George Lopez, Maggie Q and Thomas Lennon. Distributed by by Rogue Pictures.

Running time: 1 hour, 30 mins.

Parent's guide: PG-13 (crude and sex-related humor, profanity)

Playing at: area theaters