Bill Conlin | There's gold in them thar end zones

THERE IS a bull market in gold. The dollar is dropping faster than Jon Kitna's pocket protection. The fiat money that is backed by little more than the "full faith and confidence" of the U.S. government is getting sacked by the mighty Euro and has even been intercepted by the once-humble Canadian "loonie."

What a time to own gold. What a time to own the NFL's "Gold standard franchise," in the opinion of owner Jeffrey Lurie, pro football's Ben Bernanke.

The Eagles fell on the Detroit Lions like an armored car filled with gold bars yesterday, officially ending the municipal suicide watch with a prolific, 56-21 flogging that toppled offensive records that began 75 years ago. That was when Bert Bell and Lud Wray risked commitment to an institution by buying the franchise for $25,000 after failing with the Frankford Yellowjackets. Maybe the hideous melted-butter yellow and cathouse ceiling blue of the retro uniforms the Eagles wore to the Motown Massacre were selected by Bert to raise the spirits of a destitute city buffeted by a national unemployment rate that had reached 22 percent by the time the Eagles teed it up the first time on Oct. 15 - just in time for a 56-0 loss to the mighty Giants.

With the first inaugural words of President Franklin D. Roosevelt still echoing through the nation's Hoovervilles and tent cities - "We have nothing to fear but fear itself" - Bell gave his new toy a patriotic touch by naming the Birds for the symbol of FDR's "New Deal" plan to resurrect the stricken economy with a National Recovery Administration that would jump-start it.

With the spot price of gold at $731.50 an ounce Friday, Goldflinger - Donovan McNabb - shed the perceived tarnish of last week's HBO airing of his racial angst and ensuing fallout with a 22-karat performance. And it would probably rate career-game status had the Detroit secondary and general defense looked less like 11 guys rounded up in a 1933 soup kitchen.

"I said, 'Brian Westbrook, you've got to do a better job than you did last week' and Don [McNabb] did the same thing," said the 5-10 stick of dynamite that went off at the receiving end of the quarterback's best work. On a day Westbrook ran for 110 yards, caught for 111 and scored three touchdowns, McNabb was 21-for-26 for 381 yards, four scores and a platinum rating of 158.3.