NOBODY SAID IT is easy to crack the Forbes magazine list of the 400 wealthiest Americans. And once you crack it, just being a billionaire doesn't always hack it.
Eighty-two billionaires were dropped from the 2007 list. Oh, the shame. The cutoff fortune was $1.3 billion. George Steinbrenner was a few bucks from not making the list. The Yankees' said-to-be-ailing owner tied for No. 380 and last with a paltry $1.3 billion, just $100 million more than the current valuation of his ballclub.
John S. Middleton was not on the list. But that is because the 2007 list was published before giant conglomerate Altria (formerly Philip Morris) purchased Middleton's privately held family business, John Middleton Inc., for a breath-catching $2.9 billion in cash. The net after taxes and other expenses was $2.2 billion.
John S. Middleton, part man, part Stealth bomber, is a limited partner in the Phillies' ownership group. Middleton's Double Play Inc. shares rank No. 3 behind those of Claire S. Betz and the Buck Brothers' Tri-Play Associates.
John Middleton Inc. manufactures large, machine-made cigars in two local plants employing approximately 550 workers. It is eminently clear that Altria, seeking to exploit the exploding (no pun intended) cigar market as a hedge against declining sales of its many cigarette brands, is paying that huge sum of cash for the brand, not the company's modest assets - even though it has been a big, fat, cash cow. John Middleton Inc. will have projected sales of $360 million this year, generating operating income - profit to you - of $182 million.
So, take a step back from the staggering numbers, and listen to Phillies assistant general manager Ruben Amaro Jr. singing the daily chorus of "Poor Mouth Blues." Sung to the tune of "Rowand, Rowand, Rowand Your Boat." With a third banana, limited partner suddenly and certifiably sitting on an incredible stack of money, we are left with this:
