Ask Amy: Basket case over shower requests

Posted: April 18, 2008

Dear Amy: I am invited to several weddings, which means going to several showers. For every one of these showers, registry information has been enclosed with the invitation, either printed on the invitation or in the form of those obnoxious little "enclosure cards."

The latest is for a "gift basket shower." Guests are instructed to bring not just a single gift but an entire gift basket in our assigned "theme" (kitchen, bathroom, etc.).

This means that unless you want your gift basket to look meager and lowly, you must stuff it with items.

I was taught that a shower should be a celebration of the bride, not a shakedown. I believe it is rude to request multiple gifts.

- Frustrated

Dear Frustrated: A shower is an occasion to "shower" the bride with gifts. Gifts are pretty much the point.

I agree that expecting baskets stuffed with goodies is nervy, but many people (myself included) appreciate registry or other information when we receive a shower invitation. (Wedding invitations should not include gift registry information.)

Accepting a wedding invitation does not obligate you to attend a shower. If you don't like the shakedown, then RSVP that you won't be able to attend.

Dear Amy: We think you missed the mark in your response to the student nurse who wrote complaining about surgery personnel chatting on their cell phones during procedures. We agree it should be documented and reported to the proper authorities, but primarily because it is a major risk for the patient.

We are in the medical field and speak from experience.

- John and Nancy

Dear John and Nancy: I completely agree.

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