HELLO, young lovers, wherever you are . . . getting ready to walk down the wedding aisle.
Engagement party. Check.
Bridal shower. Check.
Bachelor party weekend. Check.
Bachelorette party weekend. Check.
Destination wedding so the party goes on for at least three or four days. Check.
Photos and videos. Check.
Matching table linens, party favors, exquisite floral arrangements (so what if the blooms have to be flown in from Tahiti? The colors must be PERFECT), the BEST band money can buy, a cake that costs more than your parents' first car (wedding cake and groom's cake). Check.
Today's weddings are like Hollywood productions. They frequently require wedding planners to help with all the arrangements. What would happen if the chartreuse in the trim on the bridesmaids' dresses wasn't exactly the same shade as the leaves of the bouquets?
And, if you don't know what I'm talking about, you're the groom.
You must have noticed the wide variety of magazines with "Bride" in the title that are published every month. (There are really no equivalent versions for men, unless you count the limited sections in the June issues of GQ and Esquire.) It's her day, the chance to be the star in her own show. The day she's been dreaming about since she played dress-up, using her mother's half slip as a veil. (He hasn't been playing groom.)
As I recently told a prospective groom, "You're a prop. A lovely wonderful prop, but if you don't show up, they can substitute anyone in a tuxedo. Not that they would - but they could. At least for the photos."
Of course, he knew I was kidding. He's marrying a wonderful woman in July, and they're (sigh) in love, so what could go wrong?
The short answer? Everything. Our society focuses so much attention on the wedding, and so little attention on the marriage. For no matter how great the party, eventually the celebration is over, and the phrase "Till death does you part" really kicks in.
Negligees are sexy, but marriages are not only about gossamer and lace. Like much of adulthood, there's a lot of monotony.
After the party is over, someone will have to clean up, decide which gifts to keep and which to return, write the thank-yous - and that's before you start doing the laundry, buying groceries, paying bills and all the other chores needed to run a household and assume the responsibilities of adulthood. Life is primarily about the allocation of resources: time, energy, money.
