"I would do that again in a heartbeat," Palin said.
She might just get her chance. Jennifer, Jennifer. The Jennifer to whom we refer? Jennifer Aniston, of course. She is the center of not one but two eyebrow-raisers, one for each eye, from recent celeb-squawk:
According to Daily Mail Online, Jenn is back together with one white kid who can play the blues, John Mayer. They had a torrid summer and then what DMO calls a "dramatic" (ooo!) split (are there other kinds?). Now they have been spotted going out three times in one week. (So it must be love, right?)
Meantime, Angelina Jolie just can't help giving interviews when she's tired. She has many children now (six, and rarin' for seven), so she probably is always tired. So maybe we can look forward to revelations of the kind she made to the New York Times recently: that she and Brad Pitt fell in serious like on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith in 2004. So what? Well, back then Mr. Pitt was still Mr. Jennifer Aniston. Brangelina had always insisted s/he/they did not bond until after Jenn and Brad came undone. So which is true? Was Jolie suffering from jet-lag? Baby-lag?
The -gelina part of Bran- also said: "I live in a bit of a bubble when it comes to people's perceptions of me, which I'm sure is a very good thing, because I'm sure it's not always very nice." What makes her think that?
Chevy Chase, long face
Does the entire world not love cavorting moose, Eskimos shouting, "Yo!" and all that? Could anyone not be totally enthralled with the whole Saturday Night Live thing? Alec Baldwin was: He told Sarah Palin she was "much hotter in person."
Ah, but for every party there must be a pooper. One ex-SNL cast member was thumbs-down on the Palin moment: Chevy Chase. At a Give Food a Chance banquet in New York, Chase told Access Hollywood it was "a big mistake to let her go on" and that Palin "cannot improvise herself out of a paper bag." (No lines were written for Palin, evidently by agreement. She also stayed in her seat throughout the entire moose/news skit, disdaining to show how Land of the Midnight Sunners throw it down.) Chase, who became famous in part because of a vicious-delicious riff on then-president Ford, is obviously jealous that Palin gets to shoot wolves from airplanes.
Daily Mail Online offered 10 whole paragraphs and a four-photo spread of supermodel, super-perfumer, and Project Runway host Heidi Klum. What's the big whoop?
Well, the whole article was about those . . . unsightly . . . scabs on her knees. "Painful-looking scabs," wept the headlines. Klum was having a glorious afternoon in the park with her kiddies, Leni, 4, Henry, 3, and Johan (three months) in L.A. She was just another dressed-down, beshaded, dirty-hair-tied-back mom laughing with her progeny. But . . . it's true . . . her knees are chewed up.
Klum has had famous dings before. She got a very well-known bruise on the thigh after the Emmy Awards last month, when cohost and inexpert tall-woman-handler Tom Bergeron blomped her embarrassingly on the floor before a world TV audience during a skit.
This is different. We prefer to think Klum came by her lunar kneescape honestly. It's reassuring that even one of the beautifullest beauties on the planet bears the marks of being a parent. And it's very apparent.
Game, set and . . . match?
Is it that sex addicts never have a good day? Is it that love and sex and racquets don't mesh? Is it that, sooner or later, each of us gets thrown into an ex file?
David Duchovny, playing a sex addict in the hit show Californication, decided fiction was reality and went into therapy for self-described sex addiction. Many psychologists and psychotherapists are skeptical that such a condition exists, but Duchovny needed help and completed his course of therapy.
Then he and wife Ta Leoni split. The actual split was agreed on quietly and well in advance of the world knowing. As it should be.
And then tennis reared its ugly head. Duchovny's tennis coach, Edit Pakay, 28, is saying things to newspapers that suggest that she, at least, thinks she and Duchovny have something going on.
"I don't know what our relationship means to him," Pakay told those frisky Daily Mail reporters. "If you want to write that we [had] an affair, then fine. I will not argue against it."
And right she is! If people write stuff, what can a little old tennis coach do about it? What, we ask you? If celebrities show up and ask her how to correct their service, can she help it if she has to show them? Of course not.
Pakay launches passing shots down the line: "People joke about having affairs with their tennis coach, and I'm the tennis coach. But I don't want to become the butt of jokes. My feelings for him mean much more than that."
Duchovny's lawyer, Larry Stein, said all the stories were "false," and even reported a discussion with the tennis-teach in which Pakay denied that she was having an affair.
No word on whether all this was affecting Duchovny's cross-court volley.
This column contains information from Web sites and Inquirer wire services.