Philly has Independence Hall; Tampa Bay has the Sunshine Skyway Bridge. It connects Bradenton and St. Petersburg, which makes it truly a bridge to (and from) nowhere. It is a popular place to commit suicide. (Wait'll the Phillies take the Series. Bodies will block the channel.)
When we win, we will have a parade up Broad Street. Where would Tampa's parade be - in Arby's parking lot?
After he left the TV beat, Ruth landed a job with a start-up satellite news channel. On business, he came to Philly to tell me about it. They had money, they had smarts and they'd be around forever, he said in eloquent PR-speak. "What if something goes wrong?" I asked, in my best columnist-speak.
He answered in five words: "Nothing can possibly go wrong."
I told him I'd never forget those five words.
The company he was touting quickly failed.
Jumping forward a few years, in yesterday's paper Ruth said Philly fans "want to eat your puppies and drink your blood. They are also Satan worshippers." He called us terrorists and added something hurtful. Of our sacred cheesesteaks, he wrote, "Road kill is more appetizing."
I believe he did the taste test himself because on one of my visits to Tampa, I met up with Ruth at one of Tampa's finest restaurants. Like everything else, it was on a highway. I forget if it was IHOP or Denny's.
In the paper, Ruth talked tall for a city where the people are called Tampons. It was pretty brave from a city where fans ring cowbells in the ballpark. Cowbells? Is the Trop a manure-filled pasture?
"What would Stu suggest the Rays fans do to demonstrate their excitement?" Ruth asked in print.
Easy. Do what Phillies Phanatics do - shoot off Glocks.
In population, to Philly's 1.4 million, there are almost 400,000 Tampons, but Tampa's growing and Philly's . . . not.
