Regardless, the pro-sports experience here tends to be as shallow and insubstantial as a local TV newscast. So it's probably not surprising that the area's television and radio people were absolutely gaga yesterday over the decade-old Rays' first World Series appearance.
The level of talk-radio discourse here made WIP seem like an adjunct to the Sorbonne.
One host spent most of his show ripping Philadelphia for its ugly women, its crime, its nasty fans, and the fact that unlike Tampa, "nobody goes there in the winter for vacations."
He then turned to baseball, where he was equally profound: "The people of Tampa Bay," he said, "appreciate baseball more than the people in New York City."
He failed to explain why - if that is so - the Rays until this season were regularly outdrawn by dog shows.
On the morning TV shows, one lengthy segment was devoted to cowbell etiquette. Apparently, it's OK to ring them when the Rays get a hit or score a run. But not when there is no reason.
(Note to Tampa: It's baseball. There's never a reason to (a) ring, (b) bring, or (c) own a cowbell - unless you own a cow, which considering all the blue mohawks, might be an explanation.)
Another morning host spent considerable time eating Tastykakes, after which the heretical witch said she preferred Hostess products.
Hostess!
This could explain why the rolls here taste as if they've been made with saltwater.
He's how old?
What has happened to baseball?
Remember when general managers used to be hard-drinking old men who smelled of tobacco, wore cheap suits, conducted their business in hotel bars, and spent a lifetime ascending to the position?
Well, the Tampa Bay GM, Andrew Friedman, is 31.
Before Bill James and his Seamhead Revolution, 31 used to be the average age of bat boys.
