On game-day turkey and suspending disbelief

Posted: October 29, 2008

From: Gonzalez, John

To: Ford, Bob; Sheridan, Phil

Subject: And then the rain came

After Game 5 was postponed, Bud Selig said that MLB would wait the series out until Thanksgiving if need be. With the way the weather looks, that could actually happen. So which one of you is bringing the stuffing to dinner?

By the way, in my next life I want to come back as a TV weatherman. You can be embarrassingly wrong and still keep your job. Plus, you get those fat television checks.

From: Ford, Bob

To: Gonzalez, John; Sheridan, Phil

Subject: And then the rain came

I want to come back as a Page 2 columnist. You can tilt your head until all the raindrops fall out.

From: Gonzalez, John

To: Ford, Bob; Sheridan, Phil

Subject: And then the rain came

[Expletive deleted] List:

Bud Selig

World Series Umpiring Crew

Mother Nature

Bob Ford

From: Ford, Bob

To: Gonzalez, John; Sheridan, Phil

Subject: And then the rain came

The umpires?

Did you see the strike zone Hamels had Monday and the one that Kazmir did not? Any unbiased observer would surmise the umpires would have been happy with a Phils' win and no plane ride to Tampa. Just saying, you tilty-headed fanboy.

From: Gonzalez, John

To: Ford, Bob; Sheridan, Phil

Subject: And then the rain came

The list has been revised. You're now at the top, Ford.

The umpires should have called that game long before the Rays tied it. The right moment to bag it was in the fifth, when the wind gusted and blew that pop-up out of the reach of Jimmy Rollins. On a normal night, he catches that thing no problem. It just felt like baseball was waiting for one of two things to happen: Either for the Rays to tie the score, or for the Phils to go up by a significant margin. Selig and the umps wanted an excuse - a little wiggle room so that people wouldn't question the fairness of suspending the game. And they got it.

Now then: If the weather continues like this, the whole city will be put on suicide watch.

From: Sheridan, Phil

To: Gonzalez, John; Ford, Bob

Subject: And then the rain came

The umpires have had a very bad Series at the expense of both teams: Rollins at third, the Moyer-Howard play at first, the bizarre strikeout/walk arm motion in Game 2. Just awful.

But I think MLB makes the call during a World Series game, not the umps. They have a say, but they also know the commish and Fox are expecting them to play ball - in every sense of that phrase.

Meanwhile, 3 inches of snow and the power is out in tony Langhorne!

From: Gonzalez, John

To: Ford, Bob; Sheridan, Phil

Subject: And then the rain came

The Phillies make the World Series, and get ever so close to bringing a championship to Philly. Then it's suddenly the end of days. Any minute now, frogs will start falling from the sky. After which the locusts will come. Or is it the other way around? I can never remember which came first in the Bible....

From: Sheridan, Phil

To: Gonzalez, John; Ford, Bob

Subject: And then the rain came

I'm no theologian, but I think it goes 1964, locusts, Black Friday, Fog Bowl, frogs, Joe Carter, firstborns, Joe Jurevicius.

From: Ford, Bob

To: Gonzalez, John; Sheridan, Phil

Subject: And then the rain came

Where does Gonzo fit in there? Between frogs and Joe Carter?

From: Gonzalez, John

To: Ford, Bob; Sheridan, Phil

Subject: And then the rain came

While we're keeping it biblical: I'll see you in hell, Ford. I'll make sure to save you a warm seat on the furnace.

From: Ford, Bob

To: Gonzalez, John; Sheridan, Phil

Subject: And then the rain came

Let's suspend Talkin' for the day and complete it at a later time when the conditions are more appropriate to continue.

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