Steve: Will you sleep with me?
Mia: You're hot.
I love your eyes.
Steve: Will you sleep with me?
Mia: I love your biceps.
I've been hoping to meet you.
Steve: I've been hoping to sleep with you.
Mia: Why haven't you noticed me already?
I can't explain it, but I need you.
Steve: I really, really want to sleep with you.
Mia: Do me.
I like you, but I don't like you like you.
Mia: I hate you.
Steve: I like you enough to sleep with you, but that's it.
You're too good for me.
Mia: I'm sleeping with your best friend.
Steve: I'm sleeping with everybody.
I don't want to ruin our friendship by getting involved.
Mia: I don't want to have sex with you.
Steve: I'd have to be really drunk to have sex with you.
It's not you, it's me.
Steve: It's definitely you.
Mia: It's definitely you.
I love our relationship.
Steve: But I don't love you.
Mia: At least until something better comes along.
If you really cared about me, you'd try it.
Mia: Just let me give you a pedicure.
Steve: Hand your self-respect over to me.
I just need more time.
Mia: I'm playing hard to get.
Steve: Lots and lots more time.
I think we need some time off.
Mia: I've checked my options and I think I can do better.
Steve: Goodbye.
We can still be friends.
Steve: Goodbye.
Mia: I really want to end this conversation.
He/she doesn't have to know.
Steve: He is guaranteed to find out, but let's do it anyway.
Mia: At least I won't tell your girlfriend myself.
I'm just not looking for anything serious right now.
Mia: I'm sleeping with other guys and don't plan to stop.
Steve: I'm sleeping with other women and don't plan to stop.
We can be friends with benefits.
Steve: Let me use you.
Mia: I want to sleep with you, but I don't want to bring you out in public.
I love shopping with you and hanging out, but a romance wouldn't work.
Steve: I'm gay.
Mia: I think you're on the down low.
I can't possibly get/get you pregnant.
Mia: I'm a liar.
Steve: I can give you genital herpes.
Sometimes I say no when I mean yes.
Mia: Wait, guys say this?
Steve: OK, I guess not, but I still don't understand when a woman says it.
Maybe we should start working out together.
Mia: You're fat.
Steve: You're fat.
My friends think you're no good for me.
Steve: Please love me.
Mia: My friends hate you and will make your life a misery.
Let's get back together again.
Mia: I haven't had sex since we broke up.
Steve: The hot chick I dumped you for has rejected me, and I don't want to be lonely.
I was going to call, but I got tied up.
Steve: I'm just not that into you.
Mia: I'm just not that into you.
I don't need to send flowers/be affectionate to show how I feel.
Steve: Because I'm a big jerk.
Mia: Because you're just an afterthought to me.
I think I love you.
Mia: Maybe an engagement ring will convince me.
Steve: We will have to have lots more sex before I can be sure. *
Steve is a 50-something married man who's been around the block. Mia is a 20-something single immersed in the Center City dating scene. They may not agree, but they have plenty of answers. If you'd like an answer to your romantic troubles, e-mail them at
S&M@phillynews.com or write: S&M c/o Daily News, Box 7788, Philadelphia, PA 19101.
