But I've always subscribed to the theory that every sandwich should have a fair trial before it's hung.
I called up Rastelli Foods Group, the global portioned-meat purveyor in South Jersey.
They're the guys actually processing the frozen meat for their new partner, Tony Luke's Pronto brand.
They said they'd send over a couple of boxes.
"Think of the bag as sous vide," offered Ray Rastelli III, the company vice president.
It was already sounding a little classier.
Philly's cheesesteaks have much to atone for. They are extraordinarily fattening. They violate the letter and spirit of the green-eating ethos.
They are loaded with nearly criminal levels of salt.
The new Tony Luke's frozen baby is four ounces of beef (actually, surprisingly high-grade Black Angus sirloin) on a seven-inch steak roll.
It packs within those modest precincts an astounding 1,980 milligrams of sodium, which is 82 percent of your recommended daily salt intake.
Yes, one sandwich, 82 percent of your salt for the day. Campbell's gets knocked for soups with less than half that much.
Moving along. I was skeptical way before I knew that.
Some things are just not meant to be frozen. In Portugal, they're freezing the salt cod. The stuff is salted to preserve it, for goodness' sake.
They're freezing Italian cannolis. Yeccch!
They're freezing precooked Irish oatmeal!
Cheesesteaks are street food. They're meant to be slapped on the griddle, next to the pile of onions.
In the case of Tony Luke's (now operated by the shaven-headed, second-generation Tony Lucidonio Jr.), that would mean at the flagship stand on Oregon Avenue, deep in South Philly, its neon etching the night beneath the I-95 overpass.
