At various points, for no apparent reason, the party girls start kissing each other, the kind of lascivious stunt that used to be confined to soft-porn and Larry Clark movies, but has now gone mainstream.
The "F&F" franchise has produced movies of varied quality (this is the worst), all built around the commercial premise that moviegoers like fast cars/fast women more than they dislike cheesy movies. "Fast and Furious" milks the cars/chicks/hip-hop vibe for all it's worth, which is roughly $8, if you're male, 18 and under.
Diesel is still the outlaw driver, Walker still the fed infiltrating outlaw-driver culture - in this case the drivers are being used to ferry heroin over the U.S.-Mexico border.
There are high-speed tryouts on the streets of Los Angeles, high-speed desert smuggling runs, presented unevenly by "F&F" veteran director Justin Lin. There are a few decent sequences, but many fake-looking digital stinkers, and a general vid-game look of flashy incoherence. (The big death-race finale in the Mexican desert won't erase the memory of "The Road Warrior.")
One thing worth noting is how gas-happy the movie is. GM may be deader than Henry Ford, but Walker and Diesel are still driving around in a Hummer, smashing stuff up on their way to L.A.
Yes, that's still smog hovering over the city, and, yes, "F&F" drivers are still getting five miles to the gallon and making wimp jokes about the Prius.
"F&F" has more shots of oil derricks than "There Will Be Blood," only here you get Diesel standing defiantly to one side, gym-buffed arms folded defiantly.
This movie isn't one for the Academy, but one for the time capsule, for sure.
Was the Hummer really considered a passenger vehicle, granddad?
And was the guy's name really Diesel? *
Produced by V*n D*esel, M*chael Fottrell and Neal H. Mor*tz, d*rected by Just*n L*n, wr*tten by Chr*s Morgan, mus*c by Br*an Tyler, d*str*buted by Un*versal P*ctures.