Obviously, the Phillies aren't going to do that to Moyer, in the first season of a 2-year, $13 million extension.
Sometimes when starting pitchers lose their way, they're sent to the bullpen to work things out. Forget about that. Moyer made his last relief appearance in 1996.
All right. Now that we've figured out all the solutions that aren't feasible for turning the 46-year-old lefthander around, what on Earth is left to try?
The Dodgers piled on last night, scoring seven times on eight hits in 4 1/3 innings against Moyer on their way to a 9-2 drubbing of the Phils last night at Citizens Bank Park.
"I'm concerned," manager Charlie Manuel said. "I'm concerned about all our pitchers. But we've got to stick with them. We signed these pitchers to pitch. Will I stay with them? Of course I will."
What makes Moyer different from Joe Blanton or Chan Ho Park or Myers or Cole Hamels, of course, is that he's 46 years old. If his age doesn't catch up to him one of these days, he'll be the first player in baseball history to defy time indefinitely.
"Of course, that's in the back of our minds," Manuel conceded. "But I've seen him struggle before and then come out of it."
It could be dismissed as just one of those things, except that he gave up seven runs in 2 1/3 innings against the Mets his last time out.
It could be dismissed as just two of those things, except that his earned run average has ballooned to 8.15 after seven starts.
The thing is, statistically at least, Moyer has never struggled like this. His ERA has never been this high, this late, in any full season he has been in the bigs. And that covers a lot of uncharted territory.