When the Phillies come back to town for 10 games leading into the All-Star break, they will be the Visitors.
When the team charter lands, the buses will not return to the Money Pit.
Even as the Phillies are transported in air-conditioned comfort to the Four Seasons Hotel, where joggers are offered a bottle of water by the doorman, their wives, kids and significant others will have already been flown to Orlando, for a 10-day vacation at Disney World.
The team that was swept back-to-back by the Blue Jays and Orioles en route to a 1-8 homestand will be checked in. Their travel luggage delivered to their rooms - all the neat entitlements that makes the life of a major league ballplayer so special. The new itineraries will have been handed out on the charter and, of course, the meal-money envelopes.
The team bus will take the rookies and broadcasters down Broad Street the next afternoon. The manager, coaches and veterans will already be at the Yard, trying to figure out of the geography of the Visitors Clubhouse. In each locker, the Phillies' road grays will be neatly hung by the staff of visiting clubhouse manager Kevin Steinhour. Behind first base, in the former home clubhouse, Phil Sheridan will be introducing himself to the new home team, first the Mets for three, followed by the Reds for four, then the Pirates for three.
Look, this can't get much worse, so let's change the dynamic a little.
Take away the Phillies' 8-2 record against the Washington Nationals, a team in urgent need of a stimulus package, and they are - ready for this? - 28-29 against the rest of their opponents.
