Paul Hagen: Did Phillies slump away homefield advantage?

"I'm not a fortune teller, so I don't have the ability to look into the future," said Ichiro, 35. "But that's why it's fun, because the future is unknown. And also, if I set a goal for myself like that, it kind of makes a barrier and that might lower my potential."

Finally

 

The Baltimore Sun reported this week that four men were arrested after ripping Cal Ripken's 3 1/2-foot tall aluminum No. 8 monument from its base Tuesday night outside Camden Yards and parading it around town in the back of their pickup truck.

Said the Iron Man's mother, Vi: "Every day I hear things on the news and I think, 'Who in the world would do something like that?' I wouldn't even venture to guess what motivates people."

(Just a guess: Alcohol.)

Anyway, the paper went on to note that this isn't the first such incident in Bawlmer. Thieves broke into Babe Ruth's house and stole memorabilia. Someone once took the 300-pound brass rings from the courthouse door. Another brilliant criminal mind swiped a 75-pound lobster dressed as a chef.

In a deadpan aside, the story also pointed out that police are still looking for whoever is responsible for stealing more than 100 light poles in 2006.

Again, you just couldn't make this stuff up.