In Russia, he went to a bathhouse. In South Korea, he sampled coagulated cow's blood. In Denmark, he took "the Viking Plunge" into frigid 34-degree water. In lots of places, he just drank more.
After I got back from New York, I was watching the episode where Lamprey goes to Greece and I started thinking that he should come to Philly, because right about now we could use a hangover cure of our own. It's been four days since the Phils fell in the Bronx, and approximately 48 hours since the Yankees celebrated their 27th championship with yet another parade. The Fightin's had a great season, but if you're already over them coming up just short of a second straight title then you recover faster than most.
So here we are, trying to shake the sports fog from our brains. It feels as if we were out until sunrise and banged back too many shots. Ah, but rest easy: The remedy we seek is at hand - or at least it could be.
Mix one part nationally televised football game with one part Dallas Cowboys, stir in some Tony Romo failure and a fired-up Lincoln Financial Field crowd, add a dash of Wildcat offense, garnish with a DeSean Jackson touchdown, and there you have the recipe for a much-needed Eagles win. It's a tonic that's not easy to create, but properly served it can revitalize a city that has a powerful thirst for victory right now.
It's ironic - the idea that the Eagles might be able to help us get over the Phillies in the short term. Some people in town - fans and media alike - have long believed that the two organizations aren't crazy about each other, or at least that the Birds are a little jealous of the Fightin's success and their continuing love affair with the fans.
Maybe that's real, maybe it's imagined. But the undeniable truth here is that nothing helps you get over a disappointing defeat like a big win.
The stakes tonight - as far as midseason football is concerned - are fairly large. Both teams are 5-2, and a win would put the Eagles atop the NFC East, which is an awfully nice place to be - especially in that division and this town. And there's the added energy that accompanies any Birds-vs.-Boys scrap. Given the climate in town and the timing of the game - coming so soon after the World Series - it really couldn't be any bigger.
Note to the Birds barkeeps: Lose, and the mood around here probably gets a little darker. Win, and Monday becomes one long Happy Hour.
Love fantasy football, but I'm having a hard time getting into it this week. Still haven't gotten over the World Series. It was like meeting a woman you really dig, but things don't work out and you go your separate ways. It's hard to think about anything else after that.
QB: Donovan McNabb, Matt Hasselbeck, Tony Romo.
RB: Pierre Thomas, Kevin Smith, Clinton Portis.
WR: Dwayne Bowe, Mike Sims-Walker, Nate Burleson.
TE: Brent Celek, Vernon Davis, Jeremy Shockey.
QB: Ben Roethlisberger, Kurt Warner, Matt Ryan.
RB: Laurence Maroney, Knowshon Moreno, Tim Hightower.
WR: Mario Manningham, Calvin Johnson, Hakeem Nicks.
TE: Todd Heap, Bo Scaife, Fred Davis.
(Home team in caps)
Packers -10 over BUCS: The Not-Favres didn't look so hot last week. Tampa will help them out of their funk.
JAGS -7 over Chiefs: I'm probably asking for trouble here by going with either team, but I'm a sucker for that kind of thing.
Ravens -3 over BENGALS: I'm picking against Cincy because Wax wouldn't trade Cedric Benson to me in one of our fantasy football leagues. I need the Bengals and Benson to fail for revenge purposes.
Texans/COLTS over 48: They should crush that number by the third quarter.
BRONCOS +3 over Steelers: Mini-Bill Belichick was angry about Denver's getting smacked around last week. You wouldn't like MBB when he's angry.
EAGLES -3 over Cowboys: Big games on national TV are not Tony Romo's forte. He's a turnover machine in situations like that. I bet he fumbles his luggage when he tries to pick it up at the airport baggage claim.
Contact columnist John Gonzalez at 215-854-2813 or email@example.com.