But when it's "for the kids" it's a social faux pas to question these things. It could have been "for kids who want to join the IRA one day" and everyone would have just shrugged and pretended to choke back tears while opening their wallets.
The event included an auction where people wrote down bids on merchandise such as dinners, baskets full of knickknacks, Phillies hats, Flyers tickets. I was chatting with one of the Sixers dancers when she asked if I was going to bid on something. I'm relatively certain my buddy dispatched her to shame me into it. Women are strong motivators. Unfortunately, lager is an equally powerful logic inhibitor. Combine the two and you've just downed a toxic brew of guaranteed sadness.
For some reason, I decided to place the first bid on a pair of almost-courtside Sixers tickets. There were a lot of people at the event. Surely, I figured, someone else would come along and outbid me - because, you know, the Sixers are super hot right now and everyone loves going to their games. I really didn't care who ended up winning so long as I didn't get stuck with the tickets.
Guess who got stuck with the tickets.
Among my friends, I'm a well-known impulse buyer. My top three worst purchases of all time:
3. Guitar Hero: I played for a week straight with my then-girlfriend and haven't picked it up since. Each morning when I go into the living room, there it is mocking me in the corner, a dust-covered reminder of another failed relationship.
2. Pop-A-Shot Basketball: About eight years ago I bought one for my apartment - instead of a couch.
1. Sixers tickets: I'd have an easier time giving away Guitar Hero and the Pop-A-Shot than getting someone to take these things off my hands. That's what this column is about (I had to get to the point eventually) - trying to unload them on some unsuspecting rube who thinks Allen Iverson still plays here or maybe that Elton Brand is actually worth the sickeningly fat contract he received.
