Charles Barkley has a particular way of saying knucklehead. It rolls off his tongue with a slow Southern drawl that makes it sound more like nugggggle-hay-ed. No one delivers it like Chuck.
It's one of his favorite words - perhaps because Chuck, himself, is a nugggggle-hay-ed. The lengthy list of his infractions includes (but isn't limited to) accidentally spitting on a child during a game, being arrested after picking up a lady of the night, and throwing a guy through a window.
Barkley, of course, isn't alone in his knuckleheadedness - especially not here in Philadelphia. Over the last year, we've seen an unfortunate and marked increase in that sort of behavior. Here then, in no particular order, are the newest inductees into the Charles Barkley Knuckleheads Club:
Steve Consalvi and Thomas Betz: Consalvi, a 17-year-old high school student, got Tasered after running onto the field during the Phillies game. Betz somehow avoided the shock treatment even though he hopped the left-field wall and walked along the warning track the next night. Where's the justice? They should have Tasered Betz at least three times - once for being a 34-year-old "aspiring DJ," twice more for calling himself "The Thorobred."
Ryan Madson: Everyone gets angry, but if you're going to lash out and rumble with a metal chair you'd better prepare yourself. Attacking furniture is dangerous business. I once lost a knife fight to a recliner.
Matt Clemmens: There's some dispute about whether the Cherry Hill resident tried to projectile-vomit on an off-duty cop and his kids at a Phils game or if he accidentally threw up while getting a beat-down to his left eye. Either way, he probably wouldn't have booted everywhere if he didn't have anything in his stomach. This is important to remember, so maybe you should write it down: Never eat more than three Schmitters in an inning. It's not a sprint, people. Take your time.
Ian Laperriere: After consulting with various physicians, Page 2 has learned that 10 out of 10 doctors recommend stopping hockey pucks with something other than your face.
Cole Hamels: During the World Series, he said he wanted a fresh start and was looking forward to the following season. After that, I began wondering: If he caught on fire, would anyone in Philly put him out?
