Gonzo: Blackhawks' theme song not that clean

Posted: June 08, 2010

Earlier this season, the Blackhawks started playing "Chelsea Dagger" following goals. The song is better known as the Amstel Light tune (or, in Philly, as "not that $#@% thing again").

Shortly after the Hawks adopted the ditty, a team spokesman told the Chicago Sun-Times that it was the perfect anthem for the club because it came without any sort of hidden message or backstory.

"For the White Sox, I think 'Don't Stop Believin' ' was a little more themed," the Blackhawks official said at the time. "This is just kind of a feel-good song. There's no lyrics [in 'Chelsea Dagger'] that have any meaning."

If only the last part was true. The song Flyers fans love to loathe might be a feel-good tune in Chicago, but the words that supplement the catchy "do, do-do-do" chorus are hardly the innocuous lyrics the spokesman claimed. I wonder if he knowingly lied to the Sun-Times reporter or if he was simply ignorant of the facts. Either way, not good for a team mouthpiece.

According several English sources, including the entertaining and (not-so) reputable publication the Daily Mail, the song that made the Fratellis "famous" is an ode to lead singer Jon Fratelli's wife, Heather, who was once an exotic entertainer. (That means stripper.)

Included in the innocent, meaningless lyrics the spokesman mentioned are the lines "I was good, she was hot" and "if I could've just kept the last of my clothes on." But the Fratellis saved their best G-rated material for the very end of the song:

Chelsea Chelsea, I believe that when you're dancing

Slowly sucking your sleeve

That all boys get lonely after you leave

And it's one for the Dagger and another for the one you believe.

The Blackhawks said they're not sure if "Chelsea Dagger" will be brought back next season or not. If the team decides to swap it for something else, I'd suggest replacing it with another meaningless song with similarly safe lyrics - maybe something like Bob Seger's "Turn the Page."

You've got to love Philly fans. They are, if nothing else, consistent.

Even before Game 5, the locals did what they generally do when one of the home teams plays a big series on national TV: They complained about the coverage. While the Phils were making runs to the World Series the last two years, I was inundated with e-mails about those rotten Fox broadcasters, Joe Buck and Tim McCarver - a pair, if the fans are to be believed, that apparently want to see our city sink into the Delaware.

Currently, the collective ire is focused on NBC. Again, if you go by what some fans have said, the Peacock is openly rooting for Chicago to win the series and might even be lobbying Congress to sell Philly to Canada at a good price.

The anti-NBC sentiment ramped up during Game 5 when Jeremy Roenick said Chris Pronger deserved to get hit because Pronger has doled out punishment for years. It sounded like a comment about karma that wasn't any big deal - though the fans turned it into one pretty quickly. Within minutes, there were all sorts of attacks against JR on Twitter:

" 'look at pronger get hit! he deserves it!' thanks nbc. postgame by stan mikita." - zoowithroy

"he's saying that because he doesn't have a ring and Pronger does" - jimw81

"I bet Roenick got jacked by Pronger a couple times in his career" - spam_and_eggs

And, my favorite:

"What Roenick meant to say was, 'someone should do to Pronger what Derian Hatcher did to me.' " - zambonirodeo

Here's the thing: NBC isn't biased against Philly. Neither is Fox or ABC or CBS or ESPN. The networks simply don't care whether the teams here win it all or go home early. That clearly irks certain people, though I'm not sure why. Even if every media outlet in the country openly rooted against Philly, would it matter? At the end of the day, when you put on your Eagles PJs, lay your head on your Flyers pillowcase, and turn off your Phillies night light, you sleep just fine, don't you?

During Game 5, Fox29's Twitter feed informed followers that it was "Flyers 5-3 in 3rd." That was news to a lot of people. I'll have to check and make sure, but I'm guessing @fox29philly also posted an encouraging tweet about Arlen Specter's triumphant victory over Joe Sestak. . . . After Game 2, Sun-Times columnist Rick Morrissey wrote that the series "feels done, finished, complete, triple filtered and whatever word means 'the Flyers will receive a lovely parting gift.' " Then, before Sunday night's game in Chicago, he reversed himself and penned a different type of column that was best summed up by its headline: "Mark Game 5 'Urgent.' " I wonder if he did the old newspaper "get me rewrite!" line for fun before he filed the second piece. . . . At the 2009 World Series, Jay-Z's "Empire State of Mind" was the overplayed anthem. At the 2010 Stanley Cup, it's Eminem's "Not Afraid." . . . Page 2 programming note: This week's Ask Gonzo chat will be at 1 p.m. Thursday. Rest up - like this year's Stanley Cup Finals, the chat requires endurance.


Contact columnist John Gonzalez at 215-854-2813 or gonzalez@phillynews.com.

Follow him on Twitter: www.twitter.com/gonzophilly.

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