Needless to say, no one is a valedictorian when everyone is a valedictorian. Not to ignore the terrific achievement of these students, but their crowning moment has lost all significance.
It's just that we shouldn't be surprised. In fact, it seems fitting. The perfect finale to an 18-year PC progression of life.
ALONG the way, there were other warning milestones:
First, newborns enter the world being told they are the most beautiful baby - when, in fact, they all look alike. But we don't want to hurt anybody's feelings, least of all the babies, even though they're incapable of any comprehension.
The pattern continues when school days arrive. The forces of zero tolerance are firmly entrenched by first grade. Just ask Delaware youngster Zachary Christie what happens when you bring a Cub Scout utensil to school and try to eat your pudding with it. He was threatened with a stint in reform school.
And don't even think about making a fake weapon part of your Halloween costume. Oh, wait, not familiar with Halloween? That's the old name for the "Fall Festival" your school held two months before the "Winter Pageant" in December.
Gone, too, are the prayers that used to begin each school day. Heck, you're lucky we still include the words "under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance.
Not to worry if you're a poor performer. The dunce cap has long been retired and those bad grades - assuming there's still a grading system in place - now come in purple ink (lest someone undergo the double indignity of both seeing a failing grade and having it expressed in the color of blood). And speaking of caps, you'll now receive one each year - to match the gown you wear to your "annual graduation" ceremony.
