Sen. Orie: Good. How do you want us to proceed, Angel Lady?
Psychic: Ask me a question, and I will repeat it to the spirits. One of them will whisper the answer into my right ear.
Justice Melvin: I'm glad it's your right ear, since we're Republicans.
Psychic: It doesn't matter which ear. I am a clairaudient: I hear things that others cannot.
Sen. Orie: You mean like a dog whistle?
Psychic: Not exactly. What is the question you wish the spirits to answer?
Justice Melvin: Well, there's this district attorney, Stephen Zappala. He's investigating my sister and me. He thinks we ordered state employees to work on our political campaigns, which is totally untrue.
Psychic: And what is your question?
Sen. Orie: Well, we sent a friend to talk to the district attorney - nothing sinister.
Psychic: What is your question?
Justice Melvin: Gee whiz, Angel Lady. If you're such a good psychic, you should already know the question.
Psychic: I get that all the time.
Sen. Orie: Our question is this: Will the district attorney drop his investigation?
Psychic: (repeating to the spirits) Will the district attorney drop his investigation of Senator Orie and Justice Melvin?
(There is a long pause.)
Psychic: I hear a spirit.
Justice Melvin: Does it sound like Charlton Heston?
Sen. Orie: It better not sound like Ed Rendell.
Psychic: Shhh. It's getting louder.
Sen. Orie: What's it saying? Tell us!
Psychic: I'm sorry - the spirit says the district attorney won't drop the investigation.
Sen. Orie: Awww, shoot.
Justice Melvin: Did the spirit say anything about Chief Justice Castille stepping down soon?
Psychic: I've lost the connection.
Sen. Orie: Well, it wasn't the answer we wanted to hear. But thank you anyway, Angel Lady. How much do we owe you?
Psychic: That'll be $89.95, plus tax.
Justice Melvin: I guess we shouldn't use campaign funds, should we?
David Boyer is an Inquirer editorial writer. He can be reached at dboyer@phillynews.com.
