Mirror, Mirror: 'Eat, Pray, Love' and don't forget Buy: The latest movie product tie-ins

If there is one thing fashion's French-manicured fingers shouldn't have touched, it was Elizabeth Gilbert's memoir-turned-movie Eat Pray Love.

Why? Because Gilbert was a lot of things on her journey to self-discovery: nervous, petulant, generous, greedy, even sexy. But one thing's for sure: Gilbert was not fashion-forward.

The 334-page book is a personal story about a depressed and confused thirtysomething divorcee who abandoned her material possessions to travel to Italy, India, and Indonesia to figure herself out. During her journey to self-discovery, she gained 23 pounds, scrubbed temple floors, and traversed hilly terrain on a rickety bicycle.

What she didn't do was rock Dana Buchman tunics or light Yankee Candles in her room at the ashram, as Kohl's is trying to get us to do.

And Kohl's is not alone. The number of online promotions linking products with the pure and simple EPL is staggering: eDressme.com is hosting a sale through Tuesday promoting hip boutique labels such as Al & Alicia, Chaudry, and Buckle by ecoSkin. Early this month, HSN.com hosted a three-day sale of clothing, jewelry, and home decor, including state-of-the-art pasta makers, "inspired" by the places where Gilbert traveled.

A joint promotion between Amazon.com and Endless.com promisesa pair of $51 Franco Sarto aviator sunglasses, a $200-plus Christys of London safari hat, and gladiator sandals that will put me on the road to Eat Pray Love nirvana. And one of my favorite cosmetics companies, Fresh, has practically sold out of three perfumes it produced with Gilbert-lovers in mind. They are: "Eat," "Pray," and "Love."

Ai-yi-yi.

The practice of promotional tie-ins isn't the issue here. Banana Republic's "Mad Men" promotion has succeeded in getting me excited about shopping there - and the concept makes sense. If you're going for the Mad Men look, Banana Republic can deliver. Even the marketing for Sex and the City and Sex and the City 2 was spot-on. Dress like Carrie or Miranda in vibrant Balenciaga (or Balenciaga-inspired) maxi dresses. After all, SATC is all about shopping.

But the feeble attempts to link the latest in style to Gilbert's self-awakening are ridiculous - insulting, even. And the message isn't subtle: If you buy products from (or inspired by) Italy, India, and Indonesia, you too can have a life-changing experience.