"I'm not angry, I'm from Philly" became Monteiro's default explanation for all behavior that seems oddly foreign in the Golden State.
In California, Monteiro observes, motorists say, "Hey, I was kind of thinking, maybe, ahh, you might have taken - [long exhale] - my parking space."
In Philadelphia, he notes, "our communication style is very different. You tend to be very clear about what you need from people at any particular time."
Clear. That's a West Coast euphemism for rude.
Take the same disputed parking space and a Philadelphian. The response, Monteiro says, is "You. Move. Now."
Short, and nothing sweet about it.
"There have been several times in the last few years, including client meetings, where I'll say something in what I perceive to be a totally normal voice, and the room goes dead," says Monteiro, a founder of Mule Design Studio, a Web strategy, branding, and identity firm. "At which point, one of my friends will say, 'He's from Philly,' and everyone goes, 'Ohhhhh,' like it all somehow makes sense."
Like it's a liability.
Please note, Monteiro has lived in California since 1999. But Philadelphia habits, bred deep, are hard to shake.
The truth is that we're so used to anger, aggression, and all-round pernicious behavior that would be inexcusable almost anywhere else (though not, perhaps, New York, Chicago, and Boston), that we're inured to the effects.
It's like Stockholm syndrome. Except we're our own captors.
Living here can be like living in a perpetual state of road rage and airport travel, even when we're off the Schuylkill or away from the shame spiral of Philadelphia International.
Every time Philadelphians leave, escaping the 700 Level mind-set, they notice how sweet, how pleasant, how - I know this may come as a shock - helpful people, even strangers, can be.
