'Machete'

Posted: September 02, 2010

"Machete" was the most memorable, really fun and super-violent trailer that ran between the "Grindhouse" double feature. Now - because you demanded it - filmmaker Robert Rodriguez has turned those 90 seconds of quick cuts and best-of moments into a full-length movie. And by "you," I mean everyone who goes to Comic-Con every year; the same niche crowd of 20,000 who heralded the cinematic success of "Snakes on a Plane" and "Scott Pilgrim." People who make our movies (and that includes the movie stars, like Robert De Niro, who sign on for cameos) keep forgetting the mainstream audience doesn't know how faithful the homage is; they are too young to remember, or care about, this genre. If they did, "Grindhouse" would be somewhere on this poster, instead of "Sin City." "Machete" is going to be over-the-top with deep-cut stab wounds at cool angles, and in-your-face shotgun blasts. Gallons of blood will be spilled. And cars will explode. That's guaranteed. But is this cheap "Kill Bill" knock-off worth paying to see? No. Let Danny Trejo get a job at a South Philly deli counter, because "Machete" will be more satisfying on YouTube, or on your cell phone - cut up into smaller, quickly digested pieces. Like a trailer.

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