Tattle: Toned-down Snooki makes best of annoying court situation

Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi and her lawyer, Raymond A. Raya, arrive for her hearing yesterday.
Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi and her lawyer, Raymond A. Raya, arrive for her hearing yesterday.
Posted: September 09, 2010

WALK SOFTLY - or at least in a straight line - and carry a big handbag.

That, along with tucking in the girls and flattening her trademark pouf, was the courtroom strategy for "Jersey Shore" star Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi yesterday as she pleaded guilty to disturbing the peace.

She was given a $500 fine, plus $33 in court costs, and ordered to perform community service, which if justice were truly served would mean the cancellation of that obnoxiously popular MTV reality show.

The judicial reach from a Seaside Heights, N.J., municipal courtroom goes only so far, sadly.

Judge Damian G. Murray did call Polizzi "a Lindsay Lohan wannabe" for her drunken behavior on a New Jersey beach in July. Under the influence - though having seen pictures, we'd describe it as under the vice-like grip - of many adult beverages, the Snookster staggered around and cursed a lot, disturbing other beachgoers.

Polizzi apologized, claiming that her antics were not a scripted part of the show, even though cameras were rolling. And even though staggering around and cursing a lot often is a scripted part of the show.

Murray gave her credit for one day of community service that she spent caring for abused and neglected animals at a zoo Sunday. A second day of service will complete her sentence.

Twittering afterward, Polizzi wrote, "Ah never again! So scary . . . thank you judge for understanding, I'm very thankful for that!"

Daddy's little girl

The youngest child of reggae legend Bob Marley pleaded guilty Tuesday to raising ganja in her home about 30 miles west of Philadelphia, the West Chester Daily Local News reported.

Makeda Jahnesta Marley admitted to having nearly a dozen large marijuana plants. She was arrested in 2008 after police who arrived on a domestic dispute call found her removing shrubbery from her basement.

Sentencing is scheduled for October. Marley's attorney, Thomas Schindler, told the Associated Press that he will seek probation.

At a February hearing, Marley said that she had used up the trust fund she received from her father's estate when she turned 18.

You may not be wondering how one of Marley's kids got busted for pot, but you may be wondering how one of his kids wound up in Chester County. The Jamaica-born Bob lived in Delaware with his mother in the 1960s and worked in the Chrysler-Newark assembly plant in New Castle County.

Suspender disbelief

It's official.

Brit reality TV personality and tabloid vet Piers Morgan is stepping in to replace Larry King on CNN.

The "America's Got Talent" judge will launch a new prime-time interview show in January. The "Larry King Live" host hangs up his trademark suspenders on Dec. 16.

Morgan has said that following King is "like replacing Frank Sinatra at the Sands." At this point, it's more like replacing Joey Bishop.

King, once indeed the king in his 9 p.m. time slot, now holds third place on cable behind Fox News Channel's Sean Hannity and MSNBC's Rachel Maddow.

Among the names mentioned as King's potential replacement have been Katie Couric and Ryan Seacrest. So how did a Brit wind up with the job?

Morgan had a "persistent agent," CNN U.S. President Jon Klein said.

Want hazardous-duty pay?

A former bodyguard for Britney Spears claims in a lawsuit that he was subjected to "repeated unwanted sexual advances" and harassment by the singer.

Fernando Flores sued the pop superstar and Advanced Security Concepts Corp. yesterday for unspecified damages. He claims that the 28-year-old singer repeatedly exposed herself to him and summoned him to her bedroom while she was naked.

The lawsuit also claims that Spears, who's been known to go commando on YouTube, berated him, and that he witnessed her act inappropriately in front of and toward her young children.

An e-mail to Spear's publicist Holly Shakoor was not returned.

Perfect together?

E-mail serendipity does create some special moments.

First came a flash from InTouchWeekly.com that Sandra Bullock's evil, heavily inked ex-husband, Jesse James, and his compatibly tatted new squeeze, Kat von D, may be expecting.

Moments later, up popped news of the first annual - because you know they're going to want to do this again -Wildwood Tattoo Beach Bash coming this weekend at the Wildwoods Convention Center to coincide with the 15th Annual Roar to the Shore Motorcycle Rally.

Being a former, longtime Shore dweller, this writer can tell you that, weather permitting, most weekends in Wildwood could qualify as a tattoo beach bash.

Jesse and Kat should plan a vacation to family-friendly Wildwood.

Tattoos welcome. Motorcycles optional. No oil-spill debris, either.

Daily News wire services contributed to this report.

Howard Gensler is on assignment.

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