Staying in touch, despite the wars

Philip J. Katauskas

lives in Media

Our country has been at war since Oct. 7, 2001, when Operation Enduring Freedom was launched in Afghanistan. The wartime tempo increased dramatically when Operation Iraqi Freedom began in March 2003, putting us at war in two theaters. Only recently has that tempo subsided, and only in Iraq because of the troop drawdown. That's not true of Afghanistan, where the surge troops have only recently arrived.

Since October 2001, more than a million American service members have been deployed to combat zones in Iraq and Afghanistan, some serving multiple tours. With that many soldiers, sailors, Marines, and airmen in harm's way for so many years, countless spouses, children, mothers, fathers, and siblings are living or have lived on that edge of life where you awake each morning and fall asleep each evening hoping your dedicated service member is unharmed. I am one of those parents, my son, Alex, having recently returned safe and sound from his second tour in Iraq.

Alex's first deployment was with an Army airborne infantry battalion in 2007. He served in Fallujah and then at a forward operating base south of Baghdad. His second was as part of an Army military transition team working with Iraqi security forces in Mosul and then at an Iraq/Iran border control point in southern Iraq. I am proud to report that Alex was awarded a Bronze Star for this second tour. I write to share what seemed to work for me during those two deployments.

Don't be afraid to admit your fears. This might seem obvious, since you won't be able to stifle them entirely. But my point is that admitting them to yourself and to others close to you may make it easier to deal with those fears. If the stiff upper lip works for you, take that approach. It wouldn't work for me. It was helpful to be able to talk to family and close friends about how concern for my son was a constant in daily life, sometimes as a dim backdrop and sometimes front and center.