Hackett, who lives in Sicklerville, is the circulation sales manager for Philadelphia Media Network, publishers of The Inquirer, the Daily News, and philly.com. He came to Winfrey's attention in August through the support website malesurvivors.org.
He says he was in his 30s by the time he started to confront the reality of the abuse he endured for five years, starting at age 12. His abuser, an older man who was trusted and liked in the Jersey Shore community where Hackett grew up, died two years ago, long after criminal charges could be brought and before Hackett could confront him.
"All those years I thought I was the only one" living with guilt and shame, Hackett says. His marriage had suffered as a result. "And I didn't know what to do."
Psychiatrist Brendan Greer, chief executive officer of the Council for Relationships in West Philadelphia, says the number of childhood sexual-abuse victims is not known because underreporting is common. Greer is not Hackett's counselor, but has treated many sexual-abuse survivors.
Males are probably less likely to report their abuse, Greer said, "because our culture makes it more difficult for men to admit to being taken advantage of and hurt in this way."
Hackett said his efforts to heal led him to attend two weekend retreats for male survivors led by counseling professionals. He also put his experiences in writing, in a book he showed to his wife.
"He had told me about the abuse before," said his wife, Sheryl, 45, who participated in a show that will air on Nov. 12 in which couples discuss the impact of the abuse on their relationships. But "I never knew the magnitude, and once I did, that helped me understand what set him off - why he would become suddenly distant."
