Steve and Mia: Jobless beau nixes moving in

Posted: November 19, 2010

Q: My boyfriend was laid off from his job, so he's moving out of his apartment to stay with his parents. I told him he could stay with me until he got back on his feet, but he said it would be uncomfortable if he couldn't help out with rent and utilities. We've been dating for about five months and haven't had any serious discussions about moving in together. I respect his decision, but I feel a little bit slighted. Am I overreacting?

Mia: Don't feel slighted. Be glad your guy isn't trying to live off you. Sounds like you got a good one. Help him job search and save the living together discussion for when you're further along.

Steve: I'm not sure what your aspirations are for this relationship, but if you're thinking it'll end in marriage, I wouldn't get my hopes up. I'd be curious to know whether he'd consider living with you even if he had a job. My instinct says no.

Q: Behind closed doors I began hooking up with numerous single women from my kids' school. Women talk, and I may have developed a reputation. Now I've been dating outside of town. In town I have been single, friendly, an active dad and involved in coaching and kid organizations. Can my good deeds outdo my womanizing, or am I done?

Mia: Nah, you're not done. Just be up front about your bad-boy past and the new women you meet won't hold it against you.

Steve: You may have developed a reputation, but it might not be a bad one. But don't lie about your past. As a great Chinese detective once observed, "Ugly truth make more friends than beautiful lie."

Steve is a 50-something married man who's been around the block. Mia is a younger, recently married woman with an all-together different attitude. They may not agree, but they have plenty of answers. For answers e-mail S&M@phillynews.com or write: S&M c/o Daily News, 400 N. Broad St., Philadelphia, PA 19130.

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