Think Cary Grant. Think Grace Kelly. Think Audrey Hepburn.
And then, if you're thinking about The Tourist, with Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie (who were perhaps thinking about Cary Grant, Grace Kelly, and Audrey Hepburn), well, think about adding To Catch a Thief or Charade to your Netflix queue instead.
An alarmingly charmless attempt to evoke the elegant romance and jaunty, jet-setting intrigue of the aforementioned titles, The Tourist is notable for the total absence of movie-star heat that movie stars are paid unseemly sums to radiate.
From its opening shots, of a dressed-to-kill Jolie sashaying down a Paris rue on her way to morning tea, The Tourist feels amiss. We soon discover that she's a woman named Elise, and that a posse of international coppers are watching her every move (and debating whether she's wearing underwear or not). If Trey Parker and Matt Stone want to make another marionette genre parody - the South Park duo's all-puppet Team America: World Police took aim at action pics - they could cast Jolie as their lead. In her heels and wraps and sculpted 'dos, she bobs with the slightly awkward air of a doll on strings. Grace(less) Kelly.
