For nearly four months, Enquirer sources say, the 51-year-old father of two sons has been cheating on his wife, Mary, with Kristyn Caddell, a news anchor at the West Palm Beach NBC affiliate, who just became the lead story on the West Palm ABC, CBS and Fox affiliates. Hansen lives in Connecticut, but he's been spending time in South Florida investigating the disappearance of a missing boater - and his thorough investigation seems to have brought Ms. Caddell to Chris's hotel room and him to her apartment.
Really, Chris, what are you doing here? And why are you a carrying a six-pack and condoms?
It probably doesn't carry the gravitas of the release of the Iranian hostages or the rescue of the Chilean miners, but Lindsay Lohan is free.
After 35 days of imprisonment in a 3,000-square-foot house with a roof deck, Lindsay's electronic monitoring equipment was removed shortly before 10 a.m. yesterday.
All that's left now is 480 hours of community service at an L.A. women's shelter and the county morgue, and the completion of an anti-shoplifting class.
What do they do in that class? Teach you how not to shoplift?
Even Lindsay should be able to pass the mid-term.
Rules of engagement
After recently stating he was too busy for dating, when asked about a possible relationship with Pippa Middleton, Prince Harry has a new girlfriend.
The London Sun says he's started seeing underwear model Florence Brudenell-Bruce and that former girlfriend Chelsy Davy is out of the picture.
An unidentified source told the Sun: "It's very early days but Harry and Florence are an item.
"She is a lot of fun, blonde and very good-looking. Harry really likes her."
But Florence isn't merely a hot, blonde underwear model, she also lives in a multi-million dollar home in Notting Hill and is a descendant of the seventh Earl of Cardigan.
So she probably also looks good in a sweater.
* Two-time "Bachelor" Brad Womack is no longer engaged to Emily Maynard, she told People.
Brad took the blame, saying in a statement that "the demise of our relationship was completely my fault."
Tattle also finds serial-enabler ABC culpable.
* Preparing to walk down the aisle on Friday are superdupermodel Kate Moss and The Kills' frontman Jamie Hince.
According to London's Daily Star, Kate wants the wedding to be fabulous and has reportedly set up a collection of costumes for guests to wear and hired transvestites as chaperones.
Said one anonymous invitee: "Kate has hired a small team of transvestites to chaperone guests to the toilets and back to their seats. Most of them will be 6 foot-5 inches in their heels."
That's who you want holding your hand when you have to run to the loo - a big man in stilettos.
"She's also having naked musclemen with fake tattoos on their backs and chests of Kate and Jamie's names and faces."
And what giant trannies can do with miniature hot dogs will blow your mind.
But there's more: "There will also be a huge champagne glass set up in the grounds with a naked woman dancing in pink smoke.
"Finally there is an incredible trapeze artist who will strip as she does her act and Scottish pipers who'll play as guests are shown to their dinner seats."* In other couples news, "Californication" star David Duchovny has again split from Tea Leoni.
The pair has been married 14 years and has two children Madelaine, 12, and Kyd, nine.
TMZ.com says they are so far undecided about whether to begin divorce proceedings.
* Tom Petty's peeps have sent a cease and desist to Michele Bachmann for using "American Girl" on the campaign trail.
While it would be like shooting fish in a barrel to come up with more appropriate song choices, the Christian Science Monitor decided to do that. Their picks: "Girl from the North Country," by Bob Dylan; "Little Miss Dangerous," by Ted Nugent; "Planet Queen," by T. Rex; "Go Your Own Way," by Fleetwood Mac; and "Michelle," by the Beatles.
Our hunch is that only Nugent might give the okay.
That brings us to Tattle's question of the day - a new feature which may begin and end today.
When conservative politicians use left-wing theme music, do they do so . . .
1) Specifically to stir up the culture wars - knowing that Petty, Bruce Springsteen, Jackson Browne, Don Henley, Heart and David Byrne (all recent examples) will object?
2) Because they think everybody loves them?
3) Or because the music from their side of the aisle is limited to . . . Ted Nugent?
BANGShowbiz.com and Daily News wire services contributed to this report.