I think about what he has done and different scenarios daily and try to ignore the hurt, but it's hard. Should I ask questions, should he answer them, and will this pain ever go away? We are "trying," and I'm running mostly on love and the hope that our relationship will survive.
- In Pain in Pittsburgh
DEAR IN PAIN: Of course you should be asking questions because you have the right to know the answers. And if your husband is truly repentant, he should answer them. Your pain will persist unless you both have counseling to understand what triggered his four-month "fling." If he refuses to go, go without him.
Frankly, I am troubled by your statement that your husband is threatening you'll push him away if you pursue the answers you deserve. That doesn't appear to me to be the behavior of a contrite spouse.
If you haven't already done so, see your physician and be tested for STDs. All of the emotions you're experiencing are normal, but whether your relationship will survive under the current circumstances is debatable.
DEAR ABBY: I'm a married woman in my 40s, raising a family. I work full time doing a physical job outdoors and after work I'm often worn out.
My hobby is art. I have drawn and painted since I was very young. My problem is, I'm afraid to say no when relatives ask me to do arts and crafts for them. They even volunteer me to do projects for their friends. If money is offered, I usually turn it down.
The issue is the time involved. I'm stressed out. I drop everything when I get these requests, and I'm starting to feel overwhelmed and annoyed. I have to do these projects before and after my regular job and on weekends. My house and family get neglected. And because I can't devote the necessary time to the projects, I'm unhappy with the result.
