Instead, it's a slapstick accident and a misunderstanding involving aspirin, a tub and a hair dryer that turns Jenna into a girl with a gigantic cast on her left arm and more Facebook friends than she ever knew she had.
As tempting as it is to suggest Jenna is "My So-Called Life's" Angela Chase with a blog - a comparison that's already been made and that MTV is happy to entertain - "Awkward" is more like a scripted sequel to "Teen Mom," Jenna being the surprisingly well-adjusted product of the union of two 17-year-olds.
Which means Claire Danes, who played Angela, is now exactly old enough to be Jenna's mother (though the role belongs to Nikki deLoach). Jenna's dad is played by Mike Faiola ("quarterlife"), who looks no more than five years past the hot-potential- boyfriend stage himself.
MTV parents may look cooler than real ones, but in their own way, they're just as lame as the rest of us, trust me.
The actual hot, potential boyfriend, Jordan Catalano 2.0 if you like, is a guy named Matty (Beau Mirchoff), whose reluctance to get further involved with Jenna is going to be tested, Jenna being actually pretty adorable.
And so is "Awkward," which, like "Glee," deals gently and semicomically with issues of sexuality and bullying but never really draws blood.
Because cutting any deeper might make things awkward.
Wolf Blitzer goes mobile
CNN went live yesterday with the mobile experience some of us had been hoping for when it unveiled its iPhone/iPad app - true live streaming, not just of selected stories or events, but of the 24-hour news network's actual shows.
Included in the package, which is also available online at CNN.com: CNN's even shriller sister network HLN. Which means, you could, if you choose, carry Nancy Grace with you wherever you go.
(Hey, there's no accounting for taste.)
