Steve and Mia: Divorcee leery of dating

Posted: August 12, 2011

Q After 10 years of marriage, my husband and I have divorced. I'm in my 40s and wonder what kind of men are out there and how easy it is to find one for a serious relationship. Your thoughts?

Steve: As Meg said in "The Big Chill," "They're either married or gay. And if they're not gay, they've just broken up with the most wonderful woman in the world. Or they've just broken up with a bitch who looks exactly like me."

Mia: If you're a vibrant 40-something woman, you'll do just fine in the dating market. But if you're the type who's intimidated by younger women, and you're walking around feeling like you're past your sell-by date, you might as well sign up for Netflix. In other words, it's all up to you to create the life you want for yourself. So get some gorgeous photos taken and put them on Match.com.

Q How do I say this? Do you have any advice for a not-so-oral woman whose boyfriend is all about that kind of thing? I try, but gag. I may be a little OCD, but that's me. I told him as much, but I want him to be happy too. I think he's getting a little sick of my squeamishness.

Mia: If it's not your thing, it's not your thing. But understand this: If the two of you can't find common ground in the bedroom, then this is not a match.

Steve: Not sure how long you've been dating, but eventually your boyfriend must decide whether he wants a grown-up relationship or oral sex. For most men, that's a tough decision.


Steve is a 50-something married man who's been around the block. Mia is a younger, recently married woman with an altogether different attitude. They may not agree, but they have plenty of answers. For answers email S&M@phillynews.com or write: S&M c/o Daily News, 400 N. Broad St., Phila. PA 19130.

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