Dear Abby: Surprise birthday party is no longer a secret

Posted: September 06, 2011

DEAR ABBY: Before my husband's 30th birthday, I worked hard planning a surprise party for him. Family members came from other states, and I had housing available for all of them. Things went well, and my husband was thrilled to see his family and friends.

My milestone birthday was last year, and my husband didn't do anything special. I didn't mind because I had told him I was "done aging." However, I accidentally discovered he's planning something this year.

While on vacation at my in-laws', I saw his mother had reserved the date of the party on her calendar. When I went to our mailbox, I found two invitations to my party that were undeliverable. I pretended I'd forgotten to pick up the mail and asked him to get it.

Should I tell my husband I know about the party or continue to play "dumb"? I have been told in so many ways that it's getting harder not to say anything, but I don't want to ruin this for him, either. I feel guilty for knowing. What should I do?

- Not So Surprised

DEAR NOT SO SURPRISED: Stop feeling guilty - you did nothing wrong. Keep your mouth shut and act surprised. Your husband is going to a lot of trouble to give you a special gift, and you should accept it in the spirit in which it is being given.

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