Howard lay there as the Phillies' season ended Friday night. He wondered if he hit the ball to the outfield, but then he looked up and saw Nick Punto flip the ball to Albert Pujols to seal a 1-0 St. Louis victory in Game 5 of the National League division series. For the second straight year, it was Howard who recorded the final out of the season.
"Actually," Charlie Manuel said, "I don't know what to say."
In a despondent clubhouse, no one did. The Phillies were crushed physically and mentally once again, the weight of everything crashing down in one indelible moment.
For some 25 minutes after the final out, Roy Halladay sat facing his locker. He was still dressed in his full uniform because there was no postgame workout to divert his attention. He had made his final start, threw 126 high-stress pitches and dazzled, only to lose. Chris Carpenter outdueled his close friend in the first 1-0 shutout in a decisive Game 5 or 7 since 1991.
"You just do everything you can," Halladay said.
Howard hobbled around the clubhouse on crutches. He believed he had a torn Achilles that will require surgery, making this worse than taking strike three last season. Although there were plenty of other offenders, Howard will be the image of failure. He was 0 for his final 15 at-bats in this series. It was his final act before a five-year, $125 million contract commences in 2012.
"It sucks," Howard said. "It sucks."
The painful realization is that the Phillies have improved their regular-season win total each year since the 2008 championship, yet each season has ended sooner in October. First it was an admirable defeat in the World Series to the Yankees. Then, an offensive coma befell them in the National League Championship Series against the Giants. And now, it's utter disappointment.
"That's very difficult," Raul Ibanez said.
