This one hurts the most

By losing in the first round of the playoffs, the Phillies fell further and harder than they have since they stood at baseball's summit in 2008. Losing the World Series to the New York Yankees in 2009 was tough. Losing the National League Championship Series to San Francisco last year was tougher still, especially because Phillies fans had to watch the Giants celebrate at Citizens Bank Park.

But this? Squandering a 102-win season and the best starting rotation in baseball? Taking another step backward despite an enormous payroll and a never-ending string of sellout crowds? Losing a winner-takes-all game, at home, to the St. Louis Cardinals?

"I think this one hurts more," manager Charlie Manuel said. "Right now, I've got some anger, I've got some questions, and I just feel very empty."

This loss took the Phillies from feel-good breakers of the city's championship drought to the gut-punch territory long occupied by the Eagles and Flyers. Really, you have to go back to the Eagles' NFC championship game losses to Tampa Bay and Carolina - both at home, both against lesser teams, just like this - to find a one-game disappointment of this caliber.

"It sucks," said Ryan Howard, who endured the double pain of tearing his Achilles tendon while grounding into the final out. "It sucks to be in this situation, making the last out and having it happen the way it happened. We want to be on the other side of that and we came up short."

In time, this season will be remembered for the fun times. For watching Roy Halladay and Cliff Lee and Cole Hamels work their magic, for that feeling that the Phillies were going to win every time they took the field.

In simpler times (like, say, 2007), that would have been satisfying. No longer, especially as this team has stockpiled Cy Young Award winners.

"You only play this game so long," Hamels said. "It's hard to watch it slip through your fingers."

There are only so many realistic opportunities to win championships, and this franchise just squandered its third in a row. That is the real pity for the Phillies and especially their fans. Halladay and Lee have only so many great years left in their golden arms. Jimmy Rollins could be playing elsewhere next year. So many things can derail a team this good over the course of a season - injuries, slumps, a hot division rival - that you just can't count on being where the Phillies have been five years in a row.