Dear Abby: Wife can't persuade husband to stop making racist remarks

Posted: October 12, 2011

DEAR ABBY: I have always felt proud that I have never had any racist thoughts. Since the births of my three children, I have tried to instill in them that we are all God's children, no matter the color of our skin.

The problem is, my husband is a racist. He doesn't like anyone who isn't just like him. He makes rude and crude remarks in front of our kids, and I'm always trying to discredit his remarks so the kids won't end up with his bigoted way of thinking.

I have tried talking to my husband about it, but he doesn't seem to get it. How can I get through to him?

- Unbiased in Idaho

DEAR UNBIASED: You can't. His racism isn't rational. He learned it from the environment in which he was raised, as your children may if he continues.

In the time you knew your husband before you married him, I'm surprised that you didn't notice his racist beliefs. If you are truly as unbiased as you say, it seems to me that a couple of uncensored remarks from him would have killed the romance.

However, please don't give up the fight.

Your children need to hear consistently that not all people feel as your husband does.

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